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Song Parodies -> "Phlegm"
Original Song Title:
"Ben"
Original Performer:
Michael Jackson
Parody Song Title:
"Phlegm"
Parody Written by:
John Barry
The Lyrics
Phlegm
Phlegm, it sometimes hocks up when I snore.
Then I wake—out mouth and nose it pours.
I expel it with a moan,
Until it's fully blown
From my septum; I'm free
To breathe more easily.
Phlegm, it's always running here and there.
When it's windy, it cakes in my hair.
If I spit, it goes behind
Me and lands on the clothes
Of guys who punch my nose.
I wish they'd say, "C'est la vie."
But they bust me nasally.
Phlegm—my sputum turns most folks away.
It glistens on the concrete walkway.
If I'd peed, they'd just say, Eww!"
I could even go poo.
They go off the deep end
When they see me expel phlegm.
Phlegm, it sometimes hocks up when I snore.
Then I wake—out mouth and nose it pours.
I expel it with a moan,
Until it's fully blown
From my septum; I'm free
To breathe more easily.
Phlegm, it's always running here and there.
When it's windy, it cakes in my hair.
If I spit, it goes behind
Me and lands on the clothes
Of guys who punch my nose.
I wish they'd say, "C'est la vie."
But they bust me nasally.
Phlegm—my sputum turns most folks away.
It glistens on the concrete walkway.
If I'd peed, they'd just say, Eww!"
I could even go poo.
They go off the deep end
When they see me expel phlegm.
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Remind me to stay away from you on public transportation... ;-)
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