Dryers are steaming and the irons are curling
Way down in the salon tonight
There's women with the dandruff wipin' suds from their eyes
And displays showing fashion sights
There's swiveling ole chairs and there's dander on the fly
Phillis Diller's on the gossip sheets
Oh but now we've a muddle 'cus the teamsters are striking
And I fear I'm low on sham-poo
Thanks to the truckers
And I'm hoping the combs won't deplete

Alberto VO5 it brings those glist'ning curls that's chic and showy and tight
Oh strawberry's a fave but strawberry is low
I fear there's gonna be some plight
But we gotta use Pert
'Cus the Breck is out now
There's sure a vital lack of Suave
The conditioner's toast and we're in quite a lather
Tho' the business ain't slow
Might have to close Salon

Like I'm flat out of Prell
My salon will be shorn of suds
Wish this blight was over
'Cus I'm flat out of Prell - will be gone gone gone
Like I'm flat out of Prell - my salon will be shorn of suds
But when hairspray's gone
And the gel flow's down
And the mousse's declining too
Supplies get thinner before half past eleven
Profit's falling and tax is due

I'm gonna use Palmolive like that chattering Madge
'Til they sever that damn truck strike
'Cus the Clairol is out and the Finesse is grungy
And sure Herbal Essence remains tight
Johnson's No More Tears in the bottle is low
And desp'rately I'm mixing up odds
I'm shuffling dabs of Flex
I'm shuffling L'Oreal, I'm suff'ring severe dearth and loss
And the ge-neric brands - only they are not out
All ge-neric brands of shampoo
But my fussy snobby chic clientele will not part
They say the ge-neric brands won't do
We still got ge-neric brands - no one wants no-name brands
Pantene Plus is quite gone too
We still got ge-neric brands - no one wants no-name brands
Ge-neric brands - no one wants no-name brands
Ge-neric brands - no one wants no-name brands
Pantene Plus is quite
Pantene Plus is quite
Pantene Plus is quite gone too

Alberto VO5 it brings those glist'ning curls that's chic and showy and tight
Oh strawberry's a fave but strawberry is low
I fear there's gonna be some plight
But we gotta use Pert
'Cus the Breck is out now
There's sure a vital lack of Suave
The conditioner's toast and we're in quite a lather
Tho' the business ain't slow
Might have to close Salon

Like I'm flat out of Prell
My salon will be shorn of suds
Wish this blight was over
'Cus I'm flat out of Prell - will be gone gone gone
Like I'm flat out of Prell - my salon will be shorn of suds
But when hairspray's gone
And the gel flow's down
And the mousse's declining too
Supplies get thinner before half past eleven
Profit's falling and tax is due
Supplies get thinner before half past eleven
Profit's falling and tax is due

I can see the shelves bare and with no load
Watered down ev'ry other product in salon
The beauticians bawl, manicurists gripe
Need Head & Shoulders now, and how
I gotta shake, pry and scrape
And St. Ives stock's shrinking up too
And the Nexxus and the Selsun Blue will give way by eight
And the Nexxus and the Selsun Blue will give way by eight

Now I'm crying for a bottle of a bit of some Balsam, son
Sworn no mercy - gotta cope with this curse-ed strike
And I think it's cruddy to bear such a role in this hell
And imagine I hear someone shout:
Aveda !
Lacking all, and my profit
Is flowing away
And I'm flat out of Prell
Now I'm crying for a bottle of a bit of some Balsam, son
Well sworn no mercy - gotta cope with this curse-ed strike
And I think it's cruddy to bear such a role in this hell
And imagine I hear someone shout:
Aveda !
Aveda !
Lacking all, and my profit is flowing away
And I'm flat out of Prell
And I'm flat out of Prell
And I'm flat out of Prell
And I'm flat out of Prell
(my salon will be shorn of suds)
And I'm flat out of Prell
(my salon will be shorn of suds)
And I'm flat out of Prell