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Song Parodies -> "Wife's Secret Tale"

Original Song Title:

"Bat Out of Hell"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Wife's Secret Tale"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Hear Wife's Secret Tale Free! Another B.A.D. Production, this one was purely by request and is easily the hardest vocal piece I've ever had to endure.
A car is approaching
and my sanity's slipping
way down in the gutter tonight
There's a dude in the bedroom
with his hands on your hips
and a toy moving near your thighs
There's ten calls that I missed
and a lover on the line
Oh and out in the bright moon light
there's a guy with his clothes off
I swear he's waiting for you to join him out in our pool
I am starting to steam as I weep

Oh baby you're the only girl in this whole town
Who slept with me so tight
and Whoever you do and whoever you booze
I'll never really feel alright
But you gotta get out
I gotta break it off now
Before the divorce is drawn
So I'm gonna leave the house of our dreams made together
When you're done with your blow
I'll still be shutting down

Like a con I will bail
I'll be free when you come around
When the hook-ups are over
With a shred of denial
I'll be on my own
I can live by myself
I'll be 'lone but I'll endure on
When the feeling's gone
and my sphincter's grown
and depression has resumed
Then like a Christian before a grave confession
realize what I've got to do

I'm gonna go to nightclubs like the stud that I am
wearing purple, pink and some lights
When the music is pop
and the D.J. is groovin'
and we're broke-back all through the night
No-One ever talks in this secret chateau
Everybody is bi-curious
and Nothing really blows
and No-one really knows
and Nobody is worth the cost

and I know that'll get her if I bring home a dude
and She'll see what she's missing too
'cause every other girl I've got left in my phone
has told me that I'm crazy too

If she's gotta sleep out you know I've gotta creep out
Pracing in the living room
If she's still going down you know I've gotta go down
Wanna go round you know I'll get her back now
She's going down, you know I've gotta go down
Prancing in her room
Dancing to some tunes
Winning her heart back from goons

Oh baby you're the only girl in this whole Earth
that's ever lit up my life
and wherever you leave and whoever you call
There's always gonna be a fight
but I gotta get back
I gotta get you back now
So I gotta make the most of this plan put together
When it's finished I hope
I won't be so alone

Like a cat claws unvield
I'll be back when the weekend comes
When the game is over
Like a girl who's alone
You'll feel so dethrowned
Like your world has come down
I'll be back when the weekend comes
and when the work is done and Monday dawns
and your love has come back through
Then like a traitor before the game of our life
I'll come running on back to you

Then like a traitor before the game of our life
I'll come running on back to you

I see the Lexus in the small garage
But I'll still prove that you belong with me
and this guy is near with a shirt that's tight
No-ones gonna stop me now
I gotta plea my whole case
and you will stop thinking of Stu
and I never saw the sudden curve until it's way too late

I never thought you'd have the nerve until that day

Then I entered into your room in the dimming light
Shocked and listened at the door of your secret plight
I think back now I always knew you were Ellan's pal
and the last thing I see is your eyes
Thery're shinning
Breaking out from the mold
and into her arms
Like a fool I've been wrong

Then I'm crying at the bottom of the steps as I look upon
I insisted I was sorry in quite a rapid tone
and I asked her to pinch me as I held her near my heart
and the last thing I see is her cheeks
She's crying, She's crying
Breaking out of my shell and said anyday

She loved chics all the while
It's just girls make her smile
Like a jerk I was vile

Now I keep her speed dial

She loved chics all the while

She loved chics all the while

Hear all my song as always at my Soundclick page and also new versions of some of my older works as well as current version of all my songs will soon be available via My parody site. BAD 24/7 has all my songs, plus the callborations I've done with other artists like Cometa, Johnny Mixx, Matthias and Red Ant

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   21

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Beautiful song, not ranking up there on the funny scale other than the whole scene with the character going to the night club, that was pretty humerous, but it does rank up there on the seriousness of parody scale, and this song was a deeply moving song that touched my heart. Not only is it my favorite song of all time, but this parody is brings up a very serious topic, very seriously... I think this is a very smart parody as well as a very truthful one. One complaint, how come you didn't sing that one section of the song, where the husband vows on getting her back? Did it just not fit into the midi or what?
Below Average Dave - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
You hit it on the nose with the last question, I plan to re-record when I can get the full length song. . .but it was missing a chorus, so I had to also--but I did not want to leave it out of the final writing
Ann Hammond - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
good job
Yoidy - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
While laughing, I actually felt the desperation. An epic effort! 555
Matthias - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
By the way, I could see this movie being in movie form.... A very intresting movie it would be
Cat - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow! What a story. And "serious" my butt...this was really great!
Agrimorfee - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM)Jim Steinman, eat your ever-lovin' rock-operatic-anthem-writing heart out! I had to read this twice to get it, but I got it and enjoyed it.
wannabemustangjockey - April 09, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Wow... this is a much longer and more difficult OS to parody than I thought... Incredible. Not funny per se but very believeable and very good.
Max Power - April 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Impressive job on one of the most annoying long OSs of all time.
The Charnstar - April 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Great parody here, you know you're good when you parodise Bat Out Of Hell. And what an outcome! 5-5-5
Chris Frederick - April 20, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Difficult song to parody, and you did a fine job. Borrowed just enough line fragments to give a nod to TOS without overdoing it.
bobpiecheese - April 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Every newbie has one piece that rockets them into stardom...and this one's yours!
Johnny D - April 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Drama and pathos in parody format - wow!
Jason - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great job here.
stuart mcarthur - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) sorry dude, but I'm afraid she's NEVER gonna stop thinking of Stu - what we had together the outside world will never understand (sniff) - maginificent effort BADave - your pacing and technique was awesome - not hugely funny (ie. not that many gags) , but I enjoyed the narrative thread too - 555
Michael McVey - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Imo the LGBT business has been overdone (partly by my own fault, by my own fault, by my own most grievous fault), but this was well-written and obviously took a lot of work.
Kristof Robertson - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'll echo what's already been said, Dave...while not huge on laughs, this was a tremendous piece of writing from a technical side. And the recording was pretty good, too. 555
Mikey Squirrel - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bat out Of Hell is a tough song to do, but you did it well. Good job, dave!
Wolverine - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I don't know Dave, I thought it was funny (which maybe means it wasn't meant to be). I considered it like many long story jokes. It's not a one-liner, it takes time to set up the punchline.
Though, I will admit to questioning just what kind of "blow" she was doing.
Tim Mayfield - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I think I got lost. Sorry. I don't think I know what this one was even about.
Pappa Smurf - September 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice story about cheating on your wife, I wonder who has.

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