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Song Parodies -> "All Go To Hell"

Original Song Title:

"Bat Out Of Hell"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"All Go To Hell"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Yes, I really do love reality TV shows this much...
The gossips are whisp'ring and the tongues are a-wagging
'Bout what's on the telly tonight
There's a man in Big Brother and a girl on Pop Idle
And they're proving that they ain't so bright
There's expletives on air and I'm wondering oh why
Anybody wants to watch this BLEEP!
But there on the telly, what the brain-dead are watching
Oh I swear I saw a Kilroy
Down in the gutter
With "guys who do rude things to sheep"
Ain't saying every programme in the whole wide world
Should be pure, good and right
But whenever I watch and whatever is on
There's always some o' that cheap shite
Oh, we gotta switch off
We gotta turn it off now,
But we all wanna play the game
So they gotta make the most of their one night o' stardom
They all want, you know
Their fifteen minutes' fame

But they can all go to hell
And get lost when their time has gone
When the show is over
They can all go to hell and begone, gone, gone
They can all go to hell and get lost 'cause their time has gone
When the show is done
And the credits roll
And the public can't care less
Then like some prostitute who's kiss-an-tellin'
They'll go crawling to the tabloid press

There's someone singing "My Way" or "I am what I am"
Sure, they got stars in their eyes
When the lounge has been done in a celeb makeover
You will see them feign a happy surprise
And anything goes in this rotten old hole
So tell the Ground Force team to get lost
When TV's only rocks
And plots are full of holes
And all producers care 'bout is cost
But I know that I'm bored with the telly turned off
And with those shows, I'm bored with it on
With the remote in my hand, you know I'm gonna be bored
By any Tom, Dick, Harry or John
If I'm gonna be bored, I don't want to be bored
Watching any Tom, Dick or John
If I'm gonna be bored, I don't want to be bored
Gonna be bored, no I don't want to be bored
Gonna be bored, no I don't want to be bored
Watching Tom, Dick, Harry
Watching Tom, Dick, Harry
Watching Tom, Dick, Harry or John

Ain't saying every programme in the whole wide world
Should be pure, good and right
But whenever I watch and whatever is on
There's always some o' that cheap shite
Oh, we gotta switch off
We gotta turn it off now,
But we all wanna play the game
So they gotta make the most of their one night o' stardom
They all want, you know
Their fifteen minutes' fame

They can all go to hell
And get lost when their time has gone
When the show is over
They can all go to hell and begone, gone, gone
They can all go to hell and get lost 'cause their time has gone
When the show is done
And the credits roll
And the public can't care less
Then like some prostitute who's kiss-an-tellin'
They'll go crawling to the tabloid press
Then like some prostitute who's kiss-an-tellin'
They'll go crawling to the tabloid press:

I can see myself
Starring on TV
Funnier than any other comic's ever been
Though my singing's crap and my voice is rough
And my face is made for radio
I know *I've* earned my fame
But I can't even win the first round
And I'll never be the one who gets the girl on Bli-iy-ind Date
I'll never be the one who gets the girl on Bli-iy-ind Date

Then I'm sighing at the bottomless shit that goes on and on
Sick and twisted 'cause I ain't what the public like
And I think somebody somewhere must be doing quite well
And the last thing I see is some tart
Still bleating
Gonna turn off the telly
'Cause here's what I say:
They can all go to hell

Then I'm sighing at the endless stream of shit going on and on
Sick and twisted at the sight of a vox pop mike
And I think somebody somewhere might have something to sell
And the last thing I see is some tart
Still bleating
Still bleating
I'm gonna turn off the telly, and here's what I say:
They can all go to hell (and get lost 'cause their time has gone)
They can all go to hell (and get lost 'cause their time has gone)
They can all go to hell (and get lost 'cause their time has gone)
They can all go to hell (and get lost 'cause their time has gone)
They can all go to hell (and get lost 'cause their time has gone)
They can all go to he-e-e-ellll

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Stuart McArthur - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
you're getting a lot out of your system lately, Phil! - epic effort, and hit your targets squarely here - don't worry, I'm sure there's a Benny Hill repeat on somewhere!
Paul Robinson - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, Phil...but I fully agree and concur with the sentiment...Boy, do I dislike "Reality" TV shows...good thing for me I watch very little television at all...mostly just when I'm over at my Dad's once or twice a week visiting...and fortunately he doesn't watch them either...
Peter Andersson - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll quote that extremely productive phrase-maker Mister Unknown: "Television is a medium and called so because it is neither rare, nor well done."
John Barry - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
A fine reminder of why I rarely watch. 5s
Michael Pacholek - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil: I've been watching "reality television" my whole life. It's called "the news." Stuart: How far have we fallen as a civilization when "Benny Hill" is considered an improvement? If the sun hadn't set on the British Empire by the time he came along, he would've been a good reason for it to start. Peter: It was Fred Allen, ironically one of the first TV comedians, who said, "Television is a medium, because it is rare when anything is well done." He died in 1952, still the toddler stage of TV. Considering the next half-century of TV, I'd say it was a merciful death.
MrMacphisto - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL
Stuart McArthur - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Well Michael, as Benny said to the pneumatically-endowed young lassie who was allowing him to pour a milk-bath for her:

"I hope you like it pasteurised, coz pasteurised is best"
"Oh, I'll be 'appy, Benny, if it comes up to me chest"
Phil Alexander - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart - I guess I have been a little on the polemical side, recently. With some reason...
Paul - You don't know Bat out of Hell? Where have you been the last thirty years? (OTOH, don't answer that one ;-) )
Peter - I like that quote :-)
Michael - The difference between the News and the "reality" genre is that interesting things happen somewhere in the world, and the News covers them; Reality TV takes a few people and watches them in case something interesting happens. But most people's lives are 99% boring, anyway.
Stuart (again) - His name was Benny (Benny), and he drove the fastest milk cart in the West... Benny Hill also wrote:
"My wife is one in a million, often have I heard it said
But you are not one in a million, you look like
You're won in a raffle, instead"
Stuart McArthur - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil - I knew YOU'd notice my artistic-licence interchange of Benny for Ernie
btw I have a group over here who meet monthly to discuss such weighty issues as "Best Benny Hill Sight Gags" - and the results of that survey (and others) are up on the website at
http://www.reclaimthepants.com/news.htm
if you're interested
Paul Robinson - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil - never paid too much attention to Meat Loaf, except for dinner...
Ricky # of Juniper - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Couldn't agree more with your ranting. You summed it up perfectly. All the same, I can't help but feel that if you don't calm down a little bit the world will soon see you vox popping in your very own episode of Grumpy Old Men. You've been venting your spleen quite a lot recently. I do hope the gasses coming out aren't noxious to the environment for there must be quite a large cloud hanging over your head by now.

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