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Song Parodies -> "Frightened By The Flight"

Original Song Title:

"Blinded By The Light"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Parody Song Title:

"Frightened By The Flight"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

The hardest original song I've EVER tried to parody...oh well, I did my best...
Frightened by the flight
Threw up on my shoes, and both my knuckles turning white
Frightened by the flight
I'm yelling abuse and gripping like a stalactite
Frightened by the flight
Tanked up on free booze; hey, thanks a bundle, Orville Wright!

Sexy trolley dollies bring canap├ęs and Bolly to the rich and diplomats
Cattle class, I'm harassed16 inches for your ass; we ain't Chinese acrobats!
Someone older taps my shoulder; can't find the cup holderI'm trippin' on Percocet
It's really appalling; kids bawlingwe're falling!..."Sir, we're not even off the ground yet"
Sir we're not even taxiing yet

Why am I frightened by the flight?
My tie's like a noose; I'm sure that engine isn't right
Frightened by the flight
I think you're confused; do I look like a freakin' kite?
Frightened by the flight
Tanked up on free booze; another nutjob screaming "shite!!"

A catholic sister told this panicky mister that The Lord's with me today
I said "I'm agnostic and I'll tell you why; God don't fly red-eye to LA.."
The in-flight film's trite; I check my belt is extra tight and urinate in my Cal-vins
That little man Afghani, it's uncanny..Taliban-y?
I'm praying and repenting my sins!
Praying and repenting my sins...

Cause I am
Frightened by the flight
Reading in the news about another crash last night
Frightened by the flight

And small kids never seem to get tired
They're running up the aisles all night
They're running up the aisles all night

"Hey mama! Look at than green guy
Hey mama! Look at that green guy"
Mama always told me not to look out the cabin windows
But mamathat's where the ground lies

Some big shot polyglot claims he'd not fly Aeroflot; but this airline's fine
Cabin's hot, the food is not; mother nursing screaming totOff the beer and onto wine
I got gut-rot; need to squatthe cubicles are all locked; sphincter can't take the strain
But Char-lotte (hot to trot); the stewardess who's got the lot gives me massage, eases pain
She be givin' me mile-high Novocaine

No longer..
Frightened by the flight
Just fondled her boobs while acting higher than a kite
Blind-drunk on the flight
I'm hurling abuse, and really itching for a fight
Restrained on the flight..
Think I'll have a snooze within a prison cell tonight
I've delayed the flight

On remand, there's a lesson been learned
Greyhounds from now on
So contrite

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
a masterful job on an extremely difficult song...i'm impressed
Rick C - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Cleverly done! 5s
Tim Hall - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
5 bags of peanuts for your efforts!
AFW - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
This is definitely First Class! Dozens of LMAO lines...and three fives for each...Like, "Thanks a bundle, Orville Wright!" or, "Mama, look at that green guy!"...Just plane high-larious, Kristof..
Kim West - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
A brilliant piece of work you have done Kristof. And you should fear flying because of what's out there. Beware the Gremlins for they do much mischief. Just ask William Shatner, John Lithgow, and Buggs Bunny if you don't believe me. Anyway 555
Paul Robinson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Wonderful job handling the frantic OS pacing. Great lyrics, too. three "5's" from someone who has given up flying...used to be from fear, but now it's just because of the inconvenience, poor service, lousy airline policies and general mistreatment one submits oneself to when you buy a ticket and try and get somewhere on a commerical airliner...Unbelievable...my last flight was at the very end of 2000 and I got over my fear...by the time I actually was on the plane and headed somewhere I was so annoyed and frustrated I might not have minded if we had crashed at the point...at least I wouldn't have to take the flight back home...
Rick C - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Just wanted to come back and change the word "cleverly" in my first comment to "Brillianly".
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
It will not help your fear of flying, but for this parody I have done something I haven't done in a long time, I've dug out one of my old limericks:

A taliban man named Abdul
who was flying a plane from Kabul
after crashing thought, well
now I┬'m cooking in hell
all that paradise talk was just bull!
Red Ant - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I was tempted to name this flight 111 for what you posted on that thread, but this Flight is number 555. ;-) Good job on a difficult song.
Rick C - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Just wanted to come back and correct the spelling of the word "Brilliantly". That makes twice today that authors have dropped a necessary tee concerning you, Krisof.
Stuart McArthur - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
crikey, unbelievable stuff - "That little man Afghani, it's uncanny..Taliban-y?" - jam-packed with gems - do you ever worry you're setting your own bar too high sometimes, Kristof? - 555
Peregrin - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Excelent work Kristof, a masterpiece!
Kristof Robertson - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
A big thanks to Al, Rick, Tim, AFW, Kim, Paul (where have ya been, oldtimer?),Rick (again),Peter (thanx for the poem), Red Ant (still mates, right? :-)), Rick (stop stalking me!)and Stu...FYI, Mr McArthur....I ALWAYS worry about that!! I will NEVER attempt this OS again, and my advice for those who do is: get some industrial strength headache pills..:-)
Stuart McArthur - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
what a wuss *rolls eyes* - I could do that OS right now! on the spot! - I just don't want to
2nz - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
So you finally tackled Everest and I managed to miss it first day. Excellent job, Kristof. Awesome. Super-fantastic. All in all this is a pacing masterpiece and... OH... YOU BUM!!! Until today I was to my knowledge the only author to rhyme all of the internal sections in the last stanza with each other like the original song does. Even watching big-wigs like Spaff parody this song, I got to feel superior, viewing my many rhyming words in that stanza as an achievement above all others... and then you just had to go and do it too... YOU BUM!!! Seriously great work throughout.... but you're still a bum.
Michael Pacholek - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
May we ALL be such bums, 2nz. 555 frequent-flier miles.

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