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Song Parodies -> "Anybody Seen My Jewels?"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody Plays The Fool"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Main Ingredient

Parody Song Title:

"Anybody Seen My Jewels?"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Ever wonder what the dog thinks?
[Spoken]
Oh my, think some parts got broken
Where is this hound's scrotum?
Cryin', I'm dyin'
They were here when we left there's no denyin'
I think someone did something rash, I'm dissed.

Anybody seen those jewels of mine?
They did depart, which broke my tool..
Missin' baby, to get to hackin' jewels is so cruel,
I'm like dyin', anybody seen my jewels?
Falling in love was such an easy thing to do,
I'm now an amputee who just can't make love.
I'm feelin' so blue.

Oh, oh no, Took me to the vet to see,
Then he altered my an-at-o-my.
Loved my keepers, gave them devotion,
They wacked off mine in just one motion!

Anybody seen those jewels of mine?
Guess contraception is their rule.
Missin' baby, I cannot fax my tool, it's so cruel,
They've gone farewell, yea,
And I cannot use my tool.

Now that I'm gelded when my Fifi wants to play,
All my ability for pleasin's been snipped away.
Oh, oh no, scratchin' an itch came naturally,
You can't do much with sterility.
Ask master why this thing you do,
Worse than the pound boy am I so screwed.

Not a buddy takes your jewels, unkind.
They took some parts and broke my tool,
Missin' baby, my cockleshell's gone, oh it's cruel.
I'll never play it again,
Missin' from me, baby.
Not a buddy takes your jewels, unkind.
(Contraception) contraception is their rule,
I cannot fax my tool, it's so cruel, unkind.
Has anybody seen my jewels?
Missin', missin', baby,
Anybody seen my jewels?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Now I KNOW what the dog thinks.
alvin rhodes - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
dog-gone funny...5s
MasonR - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Poor puppy. But I'm nuts about this parody!
Stuart McArthur - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
With Rick's yesterday, and yours today Guy, some of us blokes seem to have been having some nightmares lately - yeeow (see my "Pain Hurts" of yesterday) - 555
Michael Pacholek - February 04, 2005 - Report this comment
You gotta have onions to write a parody like this.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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