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Song Parodies -> "Everybody Weighs His Tool"

Original Song Title:

"Everybody Plays the Fool"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Main Ingredient

Parody Song Title:

"Everybody Weighs His Tool"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

This is a response to all those male enhancement ads that popup unsolicited and spam your Email.
Everybody weighs his tool, sometime,
It's preconception sets the rule.
Lets just say it may be tactical out of school,
Guys implyin', they compare their's to a mule.

Falling for ads is such a sleasy thing to do,
And there's no gallantry for the one she loves be hung like a shrew.
Those ads are lies anyone can see, a flirtin' person needs an edge or three,
On your peeper apply some lotion,
You just might find a magic potion.

Everybody weighs his tool, sometime,
It's not smart to stretch that jewel.
Listen, maybe, you'll never be hung like a bull,
Just some muscles you can't pull.

Some just can't help it when those popup's come their way,
When their utility for pleasin' becomes the prey.
Oh, seven can't hurt won't reach your knee,
They make size an abnormality.
She'll ask when that light shines through,
Who added that horse's thing to you?

Everybody weighs his tool, sometime,
They use injection just to fool.
It gets shabby, sometime the ritual can be cruel,
Zip your fly and, No need weighin' out your tool.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Man - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought this was very original, and funny. Sad to see the unos, your parody did not deserve them.
Melhi - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Funny! (I have a feeling some guys won't be happy 'til they can do the "I should have had a V-8" head smack no-handed.)
Royce Miller - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
You're a loose cannon, Guy
Adagio - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
That was funny, Guy! and of course, true. :D Good job.
Billy Florio - September 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job!
Jim Selleck - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Good tune, Guy. And I second what Wild Man said above: don't sweat the 1's! Some fool is going though and giving everything a 1-1-1 vote today. I just posted a fairly funny one (deserved 2's anyway!) and found it had collected a 1-1-1 vote before the bytes were even dry on the screen. Some people....
Peregrin - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, are you sure you weren't just speaking from experience hee hee? Sorry! One Guy? If he weighed his it would not register, so don't sweat it!
Guy DiRito - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone who commented and voted on this song. I was unsure that it would ever get posted since it was a sexually sensitive subject and here it made it to the top 10. Glad you all saw the humor in this.
Diva - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, what an imagination you have.
Guy DiRito - September 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, it probably is. :D
Wild Man - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
I can't get this tune outta my mind, It's stuck with me all week! Great song Guy.
Wild Man - October 24, 2003 - Report this comment
This was such a good parody, I had to read it again.
Johnny D - March 25, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Guy, this one's an oldie but goodie!
Charlie Decker - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Classic. That's all I can say.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
"Unsolicited." Sure, Guy... three thumbs up for the parody.
Rick D - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
How do you weigh it without other things touching the scale? Speaking of scales. this one measures a fifteen.
Agrimorfee - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) DKTOS...never even heard of the band
Paul Robinson - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Guy, you have further enhanced your standing here...you are truly a large presence on this site...5's...
MysteryGoat - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS but I know the Arron Neville version. Anyway this song rocked, way to go!
Johnny D - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Ain't it a drag having to pull off the Interstate at one of those weigh-stations to get a reading?
Scathe - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-E) male enhancement products, what a joke.
Stuart McArthur - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) - DKTOS - but do you take the reading engorged or unengorged?
2nz - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I only wish more pubic, I mean public service announcements were as honest and necessary. Very funny Guy.
Jeff Reuben - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--Pretty funny. I think I know the original...either way, I was able to sing to a song that was pretty close =)
Phil Alexander - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, technically, it can't be "everybody"... but roughly 50%... DKTOS, but it's kind of funny.
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "E" SILVER MEDAL - June 04, 2005 - Report this comment
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