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Song Parodies -> "Tom's Pardon"

Original Song Title:

"Rose Garden"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lynn Anderson

Parody Song Title:

"Tom's Pardon"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

Tom Turkey, that is
I got a pardon, I got a pardon near the Rose Garden
I'm keeping my behind--George said I won't be someone's dinner, this time

Well you know I wanna live, yes live and let live
my motto!
oh oh oh oh
I got a pardon, I got a pardon near the Rose Garden

They have promised me a trip to Disneyland
And I'm gonna be the marshall in their big parade
So I think I've got it made
So you'll have to eat something else au jus
They won't be carving me up on a silver platter
I'll live and get fatter
So celebrate with me and let's be jolly
Go out and eat roast beef, oh golly
I'll just flap my wings and do a dance

I got a pardon
I got a pardon near the Rose Garden
I'm keeping my behind--George said I won't be someone's dinner, this time
I got a pardon, I got a pardon near the Rose Garden

So don't get out your spoon, I leave at high noon
On a plane out West somewhere called California
I'm a free bird, I'll warn ya
You'll see me strutting my stuff
Grand marshall is rough
But I'm gonna do my best you see, to pull it off
It's a bunch of show-time fluff

So celebrate with me and let's be jolly
Go home and eat some pheasant, golly
I'll just flap my wings and do a dance

I got a pardon, George Bush has saved me near the Rose Garden
I'm keeping my behind, even a turkey will get lucky sometime....

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
clever and timely...5s
carol - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
delightful. 5's
Red Ant - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
'cause he's as free as a bird, now
eat a roast beef for a change

Dktos Royce but enjoyed the read.
Michael Pacholek - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
The question is... who does Bush REALLY pardon, on Christmas Eve of his last full year in office (when no one would be paying attention, a la his dad with the Iran-contra defendants), or on his last day in office (again, when most people wouldn't be paying attention)?
Meriadoc - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Cute one Royce!
John Jenkins - November 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Very timely and clever parody, Royce.

It is interesting that MP is questioning past and future Bush pardons, and not mentioning that Bill Clinton is the king of questionable presidential pardons. On his last day on the job, he granted 140 pardons, including one to his brother. Other recipients were the Gregorys, a couple who paid Tony Rodham (Clinton's brother-in-law) $245,000 in "consulting" fees to plead their case, and Marc Rich, a fugitive financier, who had been convicted of evading income taxes in the neighborhood of $42 million. His former wife made significant contributions to the campaigns of several Democrats, including Hillary, and Clinton claimed that the contributions had nothing to do with the pardon.
Michael Pacholek - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
John, the Iran-contra defendants betrayed their country. Bill Clinton never pardoned anybody who did that. Game over, you lose.
John Jenkins - November 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Pardon us, Royce, for steering the comment thread away from assessment of your fine parody.

Michael, you can pronounce my defeat all you want, but Bush’s pardons were a lot more appropriate than Clinton’s. Bush pardoned Defense Secretary Casper Weinberger and five other individuals who worked in the Reagan administration or the CIA, who were victims of Special Prosecutor Lawrence Walsh’s $40 million, 6-year witch hunt. If any of them was guilty of anything, it was because policy differences between the congressional leadership and the White House had been criminalized. But the aid to the contras worked, and today Nicaragua is a free, democratic country. The officials who liberated Nicaragua should be congratulated, not persecuted. On the other hand, several of Clinton’s pardons were virtual bribes. So, if your game is conflict of interest, I will concede that Clinton played it better than either Bush.

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