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Song Parodies -> "Toes Harden"

Original Song Title:

"Rose Garden"

Original Performer:

Lynn Anderson

Parody Song Title:

"Toes Harden"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

I'm stuck in Dawson
A severe trauma: that's my toes thawsin'
A ton below Far'nhite
There's gonna be a little pain - frostbite

Never baked, but what I'd give
To not have to live
In this snow ow ow ow ow!
North Wind's bombardin'
Here ev'ry winter watch my toes harden

Well galoshes make claims to keep back chilblains
If you don't mind ice, snowshoeing, musk ox & plover
So you sportin' six pullovers
Well it's sled doggin' crews and big herds of moose
Nanook lives top o' world right now - it's a polar matter
To set teeth a-chatter
Snow piles for awhile then spits more flurries
Tough to avoid that hypothermy
Sun so long I swear's a rumor in this la-a-a-nd

Moved here from Fargo
I relocated there from Key Largo
Allergic to sunshine
Now got a borealis pain big time

(Why, Dolly Parton
Well if she came here would her toes harden?)

I could fashion igloos and promise you no flus
But if that Arc-tic makes you cold through
You must assume plenty clothes
Still phalanges go numb an' then froze
Saw lemmings took another leap; chill quarters I'll keep
And a stout wal-rus be sometimes there to cull you out
When you go out kayaking about

See mile after mile it's just all snowy
Tough that the season's eskimoey
Blubber's on and caribou's fryn' in the pa-a-a-an

Is guaranteed to make your toes harden
A ton below Far'nhite
There's gonna be a little pain - frostbite
I'm stuck in Dawson
And ever grimacin' at toes thawsin'

(fade into the blizzard)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Royce Miller - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
I was wondering where you two were; stuck in Dawson?
alvin rhodes - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
fifteen degrees
Peregrin - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Hello Royce! Stuck in apathy...!
Rick C - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
After reading this parody, I felt merry....555
Johnny D - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
"Now got a borealis pain big time" ... I can hear aurora'v applause for that line!
Meriadoc - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you everyone! This half of the duo has just been busy with other stuff, much to the other half of the duo's dismay... :-O
mandamoo - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Welcome back from favourite parody twosome ! Brilliant stuff !!!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
An Alaskan nugget...

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