I'm stuck in Dawson
A severe trauma: that's my toes thawsin'
A ton below Far'nhite
There's gonna be a little pain - frostbite

Never baked, but what I'd give
To not have to live
In this snow ow ow ow ow!
North Wind's bombardin'
Here ev'ry winter watch my toes harden

Well galoshes make claims to keep back chilblains
If you don't mind ice, snowshoeing, musk ox & plover
So you sportin' six pullovers
Well it's sled doggin' crews and big herds of moose
Nanook lives top o' world right now - it's a polar matter
To set teeth a-chatter
Snow piles for awhile then spits more flurries
Tough to avoid that hypothermy
Sun so long I swear's a rumor in this la-a-a-nd

Moved here from Fargo
I relocated there from Key Largo
Allergic to sunshine
Now got a borealis pain big time

(Why, Dolly Parton
Well if she came here would her toes harden?)

I could fashion igloos and promise you no flus
But if that Arc-tic makes you cold through
You must assume plenty clothes
Still phalanges go numb an' then froze
Saw lemmings took another leap; chill quarters I'll keep
And a stout wal-rus be sometimes there to cull you out
When you go out kayaking about

See mile after mile it's just all snowy
Tough that the season's eskimoey
Blubber's on and caribou's fryn' in the pa-a-a-an

Iditaroddin'
Is guaranteed to make your toes harden
A ton below Far'nhite
There's gonna be a little pain - frostbite
I'm stuck in Dawson
And ever grimacin' at toes thawsin'

(fade into the blizzard)