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Song Parodies -> "Cabernet"

Original Song Title:

"Cabaret"

Original Performer:

Liza Minelli

Parody Song Title:

"Cabernet"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

What good is sipping Merlot in your room?
Oenophiles step this way
Wine should be Cabernet, old chum,
Come taste the Cabernet.

Put down the Syrah
Get Cab Sauvignon
And put that Shiraz away
Drink only Cabernet, old chum,
Pour us a Cabernet.

Don't waste the wine,
Don't make it bland
Don't drink it, tip that
Malbec, will yo'
Who wants to drink Tempranillo?

A glass of Zinfandel won't lighten the gloom
To anyone who's au fait
Wine should be Cabernet, old chum,
So pour me a Cabernet!


I went to a wine-tasting
In the Bordeaux
Region where they
Had a massive hoard o'

Bottles of all grapes
And types and colours
But most of them were dull
Or even duller

But then I tried a wine
That was sheer nectar
What is this? I asked
Do I dectect a

Tannin frisson signifying class?
But they just smiled and poured me
One more glass

I think of that tasting there until this day
And that is why I turn to you and say:
What good is sipping Merlot in your room?
Mate, that is not OK
Wine should be Cabernet, old chum,
Pour me a Cabernet.

And as for me,
And as for me...
I made my mind up in the Bordeaux
But one gra-a-a-a-ape to buy with your dough:

Start by insisting
Each bottle consumed
Should have the perfect bouquet
Wine should be Cabernet, old chum,
Now pour me a Cabernet, old chum,
'Cause I love a Cabernet!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.6

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
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 2   2
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 1
 
 3   1
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   5
 5
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User Comments

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Patrick - March 20, 2015 - Report this comment
No wrath in these grapes. Good choice of celebratory melody.
TJC - March 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Bold—great legs—smooth finish!
Andy Primus - March 21, 2015 - Report this comment
Perfect OS for the subject matter. Not much of a wine drinker myself (much prefer a pint of Guinness or Abbot). My introduction to it was a bottle of Blue Nun when I was about 14. I can still vividly remember how nasty it was.
Phil Alexander - March 22, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks guys :-)

Andy - to be honest, I'm not much of a Cabernet drinker, I think it's a wine that needs to mature for rather a long time, or it can have an almost metallic feel in the mouth; but as a Cabernet/Merlot it's a bit smoother. Abbot's is a lovely beer, one of my favourite draught ales. Blue Nun is an about as different to a full-bodied Cabernet as Miller Lite is from a pint of Guinness - based on your beer tastes, try a red Merlot :-)

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