Rugs have no pride
No heart inside
Never see them cross
They'll catch each cookie I toss

Once my mess has seen
Rug Doctor's steam
And those who behold see
They just won't know I had beans

Cause I tried everything they had
And I drank too much wine
Now I think I'm gonna hurl
During "Auld Lang Syne"

Too many beers
Making one thing clear
Had too much dessert and
Now I'm starting to feel weird

And I never threw
Up this much on you
When I heard those bells
Thought this year I'd do something new

And here is everyone I know
All standing in a line
Decorated like this rug is
During "Auld Lang Syne"

Now I'll tell everyone I know
Could always blame the wine
It was kind of fun to hurl
During "Auld Lang Syne"