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Song Parodies -> "Stairway to Heaven"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Written on hearing a guitarist playing Stairway very badly. I'm tempted to record this, 'cause the worse I play it, the more authentic it'll sound...
There's a guy at the bar
Thinks he can play guitar
And he's murdering "Stairway to Heaven"
He should know that can't
Sing like Ro-wo-bert Plant
Every word seems like it's rather painful

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's murdering "Stairway to Heaven"

His guitar choice: courageous
Twin-necked, like Jimmy Page's
He can't play even six of eighteen strings
Think we can hear the moans
Of the ghost of John Paul Jones
Uh.. Hold on a sec, Bonham's the dead one

Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's murdering "Stairway to Heaven"

And we're praying that soon,
He will finish this tune
But it seems like he's taking all season
Hope the next song he'll play
Will blow this one away
'Cause I don't think he'll get any laughter

Oooooo-oops
And he makes a blunder
Oooooo-oops
He makes another blunder

And he didn't rehearse
'Cause he missed out a verse
But at least it means he'll finish much faster

The hand is strumming and it don't go because he don't know
The words he's mumbling, so join in
"Dear lady can't you give a good blow" ain't how the words go
This "Stairway"'s worse than Rolf Harris's

And as he plays that bloody song
You're sure it's gone on way too long
You hear a bit you think you know
It's played too fast, perhaps too slow
But now it must be near the end
And if you listen very hard
Thank god, he's finishing at last
You think you know how this bit goes
Not only sucks: you think it blows
Blow-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohs

And he's massacring "Stairway
To Heaven"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   19
 19
 19
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
555 ... Reminds me of an old Groucho & Chico Marx routine:

Groucho: "What do you get for playing?"

Chico: "Ten dollars an hour."

Groucho: "What do you get for not playing?"

Chico: "Twelve dollars an hour ... Now for rehearsing, that's $15 an hour."

Groucho: "What do you get for not rehearsing?"

Chico: "You couldn't afford it."
Steve K. - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
How true. TOS is a song that just about every guitarist tries (after first learning House Of The Rising Sun and the riff to Smoke On The Water), but very few play well. Don't know who Rolf Harris is.
Claude Prez - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
This is awesome.
Susanna Viljanen - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Quite true. 555
Peter Andersson - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Bar guitarists rule number 555: Drinks are to be consumed after the show! Maybe it should be higher up on the list.
alvin rhodes - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
i love this one
2Eagle - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Have you been listening to "Elevator to Men's Wear" by any chance?
Michael Pacholek - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Song of the Month, at least -- and that's coming from the guy who transposed "S2H" and "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald!" I wonder: If he played the song backwards, would it be considered an appeal to God? And would it sound any better? Steve K: Rolf Harris is a 75-year-old Australian singer who is best known for that classic tribute to marsupial bondage, "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport," which was a Number 3 hit in the U.S. in 1963. However, he also recorded a tongue-in-cheek version of "S2H," as well as a non-comical version of "Bohemian Rhapsody." (Info coming to me thanks to Wikipedia.)
PMS - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
PLEASE record this.
Stuart McArthur - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
such a good idea, and such good pacing that I can't believe you overlooked the missing "he" in line 4, Phil - but I add my praises to this wonderful lampooning of every mall-dwelling bogan's favourite Saturday afternoon hobby - 555
MrMacphisto - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm reminded of the Wayne's World scene... "No Stairway!" 5-5-5
Red Ant - July 10, 2006 - Report this comment
I second Claude's and PMS' comments. Had me smiling the whole way through.
Agrimorfee - July 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Phil RAWKS! (I have the Stairways To Heaven album with Rolf Harris' version, so I know what you are talking about!) 555
Phil Alexander - July 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Shoudn't have posted a parody the night before heading off on-site... but this is a nice reception to come back to :-)
JD - must be where Ivor Biggun got his bit of repartee:
..toff: "How much do you earn per street?"
..Ivor: "About 50p"
..Toff: "Well, here's three quid. Go and play six streets away"

Steve K - in Rolf Harris' defence, he didn't mean to release his version (which is worth a listen if you can d/l from somewhere) - he was on some odd show that got their guests to perform Stairway each in their own style; and Rolf's unique version was a word-of-mouth success that surprised everyone (especially the man himself)
2Eagle - nope, never heard of it. Should I?
Stu - I was re-reading it, and thinking "What 'he'?".. then realized I was singing a word that I hadn't written. Some proof-reader I am... well spotted :-) MrM - that's Wayne's World, is it? I had the scene in my head, but couldn't remember where it was from.
Michael - :-D Thanks. Jack & PMS - I'll give it one go... and if it sounds dreadful, then I'll post it, OK?
drewster the rooster - July 13, 2006 - Report this comment
i'll join here here and say, it's f-ing fantastic. top parody to a top song
LĂșthien - September 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Absolutely Awesome!!! Best parody ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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