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Song Parodies -> "Shortcut To Heaven"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway To Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Shortcut To Heaven"

Parody Written by:

Aaron Dodson

The Lyrics

An ode to those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it, partially based on the Darwin Awards.
If you should rob a store
Where guns are bought and sold
You may well take the shortcut to heaven
Or hike in the desert
Lacking all of your clothes
With a small canteen for your water stores

Oooh, oooh
You may well take the shortcut to heaven

There's a warning on the can
But you want to be sure
That matches don't mix with
Gasoline
Don't eat meat you don't cook or flaunt
Expensive rings
Or to Darwin Awards you may be driven

Oooh, our daily blunders
Oooh, our daily blunders

It is not wise to test a second hand
Kevlar vest
And it's not very smart to be thieving
You should not throw rocks at nests
Of hornets or bees
But heed the voices of those on looking

Oooh, our daily blunders
Oooh, our daily blunders

Skydivers meet their doom if their
Guts are all strewn
In a ten foot deep hole that is steamin'
Shocking jolts will become those
Who alter the prongs
To fit plugs in outlets on the rafters

Woooh

If you should be on nature's death row
Then you must know now
That the gene pool needs some chlorine
Don't light flatulence in junior high
For it may burn your bum
And make your rectum both charred and gone

Our daily blunders
Oh....

As you walk on the edge of a plateau
And say "whoa"
That's Darwin calling you to join him
Dear lady please don't play with that bow
And with arrows
For your shortcut is natural selection

So those who drive drunk on the road
Or throw stones at West Bank patrols
Are those morons who we all know
Who aren't bright and eat yellow snow
They can be either young or old
So always stay on your guard
And with luck, your luck will last
And you will live to meet your goal
To survive and save your soul

Or you may well take the shortcut....to heaven

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 2
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   2
 4
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
If you haven't already, you need to contact the Darwin Awards website for this. 455. Maybe they can Midi it while browsing the stories ( I know you made a recording, which I have not heard ).
Guy - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done and I can testify that I have knowledge of over 75% of "mishaps" you cite in this parody. I am an avid fan of the Darwin awards and have used them myself in parody. Brilliant idea but where are all your comments? People should be reading this one. You had a lot of great word usage within meter pace and rhyming. Very nice. 555 people have received the Darwin award so far year to date.
David Pratter - March 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm glad to see you finally did type the lyrics! If I can help, I will try to give you a copy of the instrumental if I find it. I own lots of karaoke discs, that's how I sang "Will I Have Money Tomorrow?"!
Aaron Dodson - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, that would be great if you could!
Anonymous Bob - June 22, 2006 - Report this comment
555. Awesome parody. I loved it.
RAZ - May 17, 2007 - Report this comment
it was good. could be better. keep rockin'

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