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Song Parodies -> "Stairway for Preciousss"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Stairway for Preciousss"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

I'm back after almost 2 weeks of writing final papers, being on a cruise, and writer's block. I wonder if anyone will notice
What do they have it for?
Yes they pilfers like trolls
And we're climbing the stairway for preciousss

It's a treasure they stole
But at Cirith Ungol
They'll return it to the rightful owner

And we're climbing the stairway for precious

There's a spider in there
In a dark, spooky lair
And I know she'd like
Hobbits for eating

And when she kills them both
They'll surrender the ring
I'll return to my normal existence

Buuuuut, we're close to Mordor
Tooo close to Mordor

There's a feeling inside
When I'm close to the Eye
That makes Smeagol so frightened he's peeing

It's a force I can't stand
I would rather eat lamb
That annoying hobbitses were cooking

Toooo, too close to Mordor
Tooo close to Mordor

After fifty more flights
I'll have it in my sights
If the spider will
Do what the deal is

And my Birthday present
Smeagol will not miss
But don't ask me what will happen after

Precious, precious

If there's a muscle
In a hobbit
It would surprise me
They're quite unlean meat
For the bug queen

Since they are too fat
They cannot fight, but they're not frightened
They think that this is safer than the Orcs

And I'll claim the precious

We're almost up and
I hold my nose
Since even I know
The spider smells worse than an orc horde

Sam Gamgee
Do you fear the reaper?
Since it's near ya
You're sure to die
With a miniscule sword

Oh oh oh

I should be nicer to my hosts
They saved me at that water hole
What am I crazy? we must go
And get the ring that drained my soul
My urge for it I can't control

And now it isn't very far
Until we're up these stairs at last
And I'll achieve my long-time goal
And have the ring that makes me whole

And we're climbing the stairway for preciousss

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

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Johnny D - December 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Well done, Ethan. You might like my Gollum parody ("Gollum's Rhapsody"), too:
Melhi - December 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Welcome back. Nice job!
Michael Pacholek - December 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Way... down... in... side... Gollum... he... need... it... Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Adagio - December 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Welcome back!! This brought their trip up the steps back to me, and all the gruesomeness of most of the characters...thanks! Looks like a lot of work! 5's
Meriadoc - January 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent work Ethan!
Billy Florio - January 01, 2004 - Report this comment
of course there are a good handful of Zep songs about LOTRs even before being re-written

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