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Song Parodies -> "Divorced Once Married"

Original Song Title:

"Detroit Rock City"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Divorced Once Married"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

What happens when legendary rock star Gene Simmons gets married? Read, rock on and find out!
I’m losing my pride cause it’s my wedding night
Balls are locked can only use them with my wife
I used to snog groupies by the group
All that’s gone, Bride tells me I’ve got chores to do…

I’ve got to...

Wash Car!
Go and pick up something good to eat!
Gotta be her choice or she will freak!
I’m gonna be her slave
Till Divorced, I'm Married!

Get up!
Almost noon and she says I can’t sleep
Make bed!
I always leave it in such a heap!

She’s irate, It fries my brain!
Left seat up and I know she’s gonna go explode!
Grabbing drinks with my bros
Grabbed crowbar and she’s smashing all my car’s windows!

She’s Nuts!
Carrie Underwood said I’m a creep
Watch out!
Why’d she listen to “Before He Cheats”?!

Once a blast: The dating life
Bought a ring and she turned into a crazy Ho!
I’m scrubbing floors and washing knives
I’m like that chick: Cinderella, My life blows!


Clean tub!
Cause your body left a filthy ring!
Then john!
You never aim when you’ve gotta pee!!!!

If you think that love is blind
You’re Divorced once Married

Loved to gawk while at Strip Clubs
She swings at my head a frying pan I’ve got to hide
It’s so flawed, Marriage is spurned
Gutters I’ll clean if I know I want to stay alive!!!


Suit up!
Put on Gucci, You’ve got to look neat!

Go rub!
Time to massage her damn stinkin’ feet
I’ll frown!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - March 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Good job. Sounds like Gene stuck his tongue out at marriage.
Peter Andersson - April 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Marriage: 555 to life...! :-)
bobpiecheese - April 21, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Didn't really seem to be about Gene Simmons as the title implies, but I guess that was just in reference to the song choice and it's just meant to be a generic rockstar married to your basic crazy biatch. Hilariously cynical, 555!
Rex - April 22, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I loved the mental picture of Gene in his full Kiss costume out in the driveway washing the car (and doing all his other chores).
Agrimorfee - April 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Yeah, back to the old ball and chain, and not the kind draped around Gene's costume.
Blaydeman - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Marriages come and go, but the music lass forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Below Average Dave - April 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Wow. . .this one line "Balls are locked can only use them with my wife" really drove home the theme. . .um, yeah Matt-this was funny, marriage is no different than a property deed to me; I'll pass

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