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Song Parodies -> "Nuns With Bad Habits"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"Nuns With Bad Habits"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

As a young man, I'd wander
Over here, there, and yonder,
The stuff I used to ponder
Are fond memories, I keep
Like, near that monastery,
Reachin' up to pluck a cherry,
Feelin' fingers, kinda' scary
They're goosin' me real deep..

When I look, I see two Sisters,
Reverent Sisters of St. Mary,
They're pokin' where I'm hairy,
Sexy mischief in their eyes..
Then I feel warm blood a' gushin'
So I know I'm red and blushin'
They say, finger-hushin'
"We're what you fantasize"..

They say I'm a handsome fellow,
Follow them, and we'll get mellow
Led me where woods were dark,
Revealing pink and prime..
They disrobed and I got naked,
There was surely no mistakin'
All of the bold moves they were makin'
Showed me a wild and wooly time..

Cuz, they were Nuns with bad habits,
Habits like rabbits,
Nab-its, and grab-its, hey,
You know what I mean..
Those Nuns had real bad habits,
Guess they're foolin' all the Abbots,
Not respectin' any Sabbaths,
Or the days between..

I strolled back everyday,
And each day the same thing happened
Then afterwards I'd wander home,
While morning birds would cheep..
Felt like that big sun risin'
Off in the far horizon
On my face, a wide smile sizin'
That I'd keep in my sleep..

But then a strange thing happened,
Found out I'd just been nappin'
Woke up, out there in the field,
A mow job incomplete..
Felt like a startled actor,
Considered the dream factor
Until I found a blue nun's cap,
There on my tractor seat..

Oh, they were Nuns with bad habits,
Habits like rabbits,
Nab-its, and grab-its, hey,
You know what I mean..
Those Nuns had real bad habits,
They were foolin' all the Abbots,
Not respectin' any Sabbaths,
Or the days between..

God bless Nuns with bad habits,
Fairest I have seen..

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Dr. Oliver Clozoff - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Loved it.
Callmelennie - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
I once knew a nun who used to smoke four packs a day. And she never changed her clothes so she always reeked of cigarette smoked. Talk about a nasty habit (wa wa wa WAAAH) ... Years later, she left the convent, got married and stopped smoking. So I guess she finally kicked the habit (hiyooooh)
Callmelennie - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Explanatory note for non-Catholics: That burqa like outfit that nuns traditionally wore is called a habit
Phil Alexander - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
:-) It's a bugger when you don't finish your mow job.. when's the video coming out?

But it does sound like it could be a "Nights in White Satin" parody..
Rob Arndt - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Don't let this become a habit AFW- 555!!! Now enough of theis Nunsense ;-D
Peregrin - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Heavens! Unclothed in the cloisters! A revealing parody, AFW.
Matthias - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Awesome parody! And a great title! I thought it was going to be a parody of "Friends In Low Places" and I think I'm going to actually write that one because this is such a fun idea it needs to reach every Amirighter.
Porfle Popnecker - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Very well written.
WarrenB - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Usually don't comment on the 'naughty bits' parodies, but I have to admit, this was pretty funny. Bar nun.
Meriadoc - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Sounds like they were a hard habit to break...
Dave W. - July 13, 2012 - Report this comment
I remember, way back in the fouth grade, when I went to Catholic school,there were some young and cute nuns.........Your parody reminds me of the Monty python flick- Holy Grail........Spank You
AFW - July 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, Dr.OC, lennie, Phil, Rob, Peregrin, Matthias, Porfle, WarrenB, Meriadoc, and Dave W

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