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Song Parodies -> "The Wrangler"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Wrangler"

Parody Written by:

Airfarcewon

The Lyrics

On a cold Texas mornin',
On a horse headed nowhere
I came up on a wrangler
He was weary, worn, and old..
He asked if I had matches,
To light some rolled tobacco
We stopped and built a fire
It warmed us from the cold..

He said, ya know I been a wrangler
Some sixty years, this August
I"ve kicked sand thru the Southwest
Workin' every ranch and spread..
Must'a poked ten million cattle..
My old rear end's like a saddle,
I been trampled on in stampedes,
It's a wonder I ain't dead..

He sipped a battered tin of coffee
And puffed on rolled tobacco,
Dusted his ten gallon hat,
Against a lean thigh, twice..
Poked a stick into the fire
The sparks and flames danced higher,
He said I see you're still a young hand,
Let me give you old advice..

Ya' gotta' know how to ride 'em
Know how to rope 'em
Know how to hold on to
The saddle horns of life..
Ya' gotta' drink strong coffee
Take it slow when lovin' women,
But just leave 'em like ya' found 'em
Don't make one your wife..

'Cause every wrangler knows
Ride's another word for lonesome
You're married to a prairie day
Your home is where ya' sleep..
Your heart may be the loser,
But it can't be a chooser,
When you take on the cowboy pace
It's one ya' gotta' keep..

He stood tall by the fire,
His shadow flickered higher,
Stubbed out the cigarette,
Then said, I'll tell ya' plain.."
In all my years a' wranglin'
I've looped a lotta' longhorns,
And rounded up wild mavericks, too
But none bad as McCain...

Ya' gotta' know how to ride 'em
Know how to rope 'em
know how to hold on to
The saddle horns of life,
Ya' gotta' brew strong coffee
Take it slow when lovin' women
Always leave 'em like you found 'em
Don't make one your wife..

Ya' gotta know how to ride 'em
Know how to rope 'em
Know how to hold on to
The saddle horns of life
Ya' gotta' drink strong whiskey,
Take it slow when lovin' women
Always leave 'em like you found 'em
Don't make none your wife..

Don't make none your wife..




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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 21

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User Comments

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alvin - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
lol....i like the way you tossed mc cain into the mix...and i guess one wouldn't need a wife if they had poked ten million cattle
Andria - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
AFW, do you know what I think about John McCain? I think that he is a dirty old man who cheated on his wife when she had cancer. 555
LittleCoo - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L'AIR de Farce, this is beautiful Sir! Tangy, & a bit rangy, but very poetic. You sound like a real Cow Puncher, Sir! This should be posted on WRANGLER.com, as they collect Western/Cowboy poetry there. You've captured the Cowboy Code so well !
Andy Primus - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice story - made me remember some of the old b & w westerns that I used to watch as a kid in the 60's & 70's
AFW - October 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin...ya' got a point there :)...and thanks, Andria, LC, and Andy
Peregrin - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
That was a good read, AFW
AFW - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Appreciate it, Peregrin
LilLoopyCOO - November 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L'AIR, love the looping & roping lines of LongHorn & Mavericks! You really are an ace at setting the scene, Sir !
Guy - November 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Yee-haah - this-un wreally wrang my bell. You spin a fine tale as usual with this little doggie. Ballads seem to bring out the best in your writing, Farce.

Jab at Obama or McCain - it makes no difference - our nation is in the hands of nin-cow-poops as they stampede the economy over a prarie bluff. You get a 5 trillion $ bailout for this one.

Those devils count out money,
As they feed us full of fables...
AFW - November 02, 2008 - Report this comment
Truly said, Guy...thanks for vote and comment
LadyCupCakes - November 06, 2008 - Report this comment
I got a Cowboy, crazy for me; he's funny that way . . .
LiLWrangleress - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Still rings clear, Sir L'Air de Farce, Lord 0' the Range, The Duke 0'Edge !
UnKnownVO - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I got a Cowboy, way over town that's good to me; oh Yeah! He give me honey both day & night. He's my LongHorn; I hold him tight! yeah, I got a Cowboy way over town, that's good to me ! Oh, YEah! . . . ~~RayCharles, early 50's
giggles - November 25, 2008 - Report this comment
lol!i totally agree with alvin.ur a great writer and poet afw.id like 2 know a lil more about u…could u write another parody giving eveyone,but especially me,a better understanding of how u r? :-)
AFW - November 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, giggles, but I'm not sure I know how I r...I'm just an old kid, who never grew up, and never knew what he wanted to be..except scratch out song lyrics, a few poems, some humor lines, etc. etc.....if you read some of my past parodies from here in the well, you'll probably know more about me than I know of myself.... and thanks for your interest..
LittleCUPcakes - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air de Farce, ~The Duke 0'Edge ~ Please have a safe T-Day, Sir L'Air. Careful with all that 'raking' . . .
LoopyCooCakes - December 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air de Farce, this still makes me smile, Sir . . . . especially the final stanza ! . . . love it soooo!

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