We named you 'cause we thought "Suri" was Hebrew for "princess" -
But with a T and an S it's Yiddish for "a mess".
And I was unaware that it means "thief" in Japanese -
But trust me,
You will live a life of ease.

I know your daddy and your mama aint too very bright -
We had other partners, but for now we got it right.
We got Scientology, we know we'll raise you well -
Oh, Suri,
It will help you to excell.

We'll have a mansion in the hills with tennis courts and pool -
You'll ride a chauffered limousine to the finest school.
Not every kid has many brothers, sisters, dads and moms -
Oh, Suri,
There'll be more of them to come.

She's growin' up 'cause I hear her talkin' about guys -
Jumpin' on the chesterfield with love look in her eyes.
Daddy's movin' on 'cause their relationship has cooled -
Oh, Suri,
You're already five years old!