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Song Parodies -> "Camille"

Original Song Title:

"Lucille"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"Camille"

Parody Written by:

Ravyn Rant

The Lyrics

So, we all watched the Olympic men's skating competition last month, right? (Or was it just me?) I reviewed the men's skate recently after a very heavy dinner and dreamed about the events described below. For those of you who aren't familiar with Johnny Weir, 3-time US gold medalist, he's the one with the orange glove...named Camille. He blames Camille when he skates poorly...
In a bar in Torino, away from the people
On a barstool he stared at his glove
In his costume with sequins, I thought I was peeking
At a sparkly, strange bird from above.
He saw me and muttered, that he was "no nutter,
And I know that I look out of place.
I'm just an escaper, don't want the newspapers
To see me with all of this egg on my face."

So I looked closely at him, and that's when I knew him
The champ from the U-S-of-A
Who started so strong, and then bombed in the long
I didn't quite know what to say
His shoulders were sagging, his feathers were drooping
For a minute I thought he would cry
Then he got pissed, and he shook his small fist, then
He turned to his glove, and he sighed,

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Camille
In less than five minutes I could make my dream real
I was ahead, and that silver medal
Was something this skater could feel.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Camille."

I patted his shoulder, and ordered more whiskey
I watched him berating his hand
He said, "I lost my aura, and I couldn't remember
Just how many jumps I could land.
I tried to fake it, but I couldn't make it,
I knew then I'd run out of luck.
My grace was gone, and instead of a swan
I suddenly felt more like a duck."

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Camille
In less than five minutes, I could make my dream real
I was ahead, and that silver medal
Was something this skater could feel
You picked a fine time to leave me, Camille."
Hopefully, Camille will stick around long enough for Johnny to make it to the Worlds podium next week! Good luck, Johnny!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 14, 2006 - Report this comment
certainly a unique concept....gotta love those glove naming skaters
Rick C - March 14, 2006 - Report this comment
5 Gold Gloves.
Dirty Hairy - March 14, 2006 - Report this comment
I don't know skating from Adam, but I know a good parody when I see one. This qualifies as a good one. All 5's
Larry Hensley - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I didn't watch that, but liked the parody. 555s
Red Ant - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
I managed to miss the entire Winter Olympics but funny concept here RR. Is it just me or does this scan somewhat to "The Gambler"?
Ravyn Rant - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank you all! There are less than two weeks left in the season, so I hope to tackle a subject other than figure skating sometime real soon...because my daughter's threatening an intervention if I don't. Red Ant - I'm going to have to try that. "You picked a fine time to leave me (time to leave me)..."

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