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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Gerry Studds"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad of Sweeney Todd"

Original Performer:

Ken Jennings

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad of Gerry Studds"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Rest in peace, Gerry Eastman Studds, 1937-2006. Was it a twist of fate and language that the first openly gay Congressman (serving from 1973 to 1997) would be named "Studds"? Or that his district included that wickedly-rhymed island Nantucket? And Cape Cod, not only a summer vacation spot favored by gays but shaped like... And it's really weird that he died during the Mark Foley scandal. Let the record show that, in his case, unlike Foley's, the page was of legal age according to State law, and held no ill will towards Gerry (who pronounced his name with... oy vey, another unfortunate coincidence of language... a hard G), and even worked on his... campaigns. It's also weird that the first two openly gay Congressmen, Studds and Barney Frank, represented adjoining Massachusetts districts from 1981 to 1997. This song won't gloss over what Studds called "a very serious error in judgment," but neither will it condemn him. As for the original performer: Ken Jennings, not to be confused with the "Jeopardy" champion of the same name, played Tobias Ragg in the 1979 musical "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," and sang "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd." Like me, he is a New Jerseyan.
Attend the tale of Gerry Studds.
One of Massachusetts' Congress buds.
He could be compared to Barney Frank
for he guarded so well the liberal flank
without a voice like Elmer Fudd's.
Not Gerry Studds.
The legislator of Cape Cod.

From South Shore sent to Washington.
Made fancy speeches, good laws were done.
And what if he got too close with page?
It's just Republicans who got enraged
by Gerry.
By Gerry Studds.
The legislator of Cape Cod.

Swing to other side!
Gerry, put aside the lies.
Hotly flows the blood
of those who moralize.
His needs were few, his pride was bare.
Young handsome page was sitting there.
A wine cooler and a leather crop?
Don't you believe that right-wing slop.
And to this day those guys sling mud
at Gerry Studds.
The legislator of Cape Cod.

So conspicuous Gerry was.
Quick and quiet and free he was.
Still he could smile, good was his word.
Voters liked music that Gerry Studds heard.
Gerry sponsored and Gerry planned
the laws improving our land.

Gerry was smooth, Gerry was dishing.
Fought for clean air, fought for fishing.
Gerry was fightin', Gerry was climbin'.
He fought for workers of maritimin'.
Gerry was workin' on what he was dreamin'.
And in the best way, he fought for seamen.
Gerry was smooth, Gerry was subtle.
He spoke, those right-wing rats would scuttle!
Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry!
Gerry Studds!

Attend the tale of Gerry Studds.
(Attend the tale of Gerry Studds.)
Did not wear Village People duds.
(Did not wear Village People duds.)

The truth, until his dying day
well, he would sure want us to give it away.
That's Gerry.
That's Gerry Studds.
The legislator of Cape...

The legislator of the South Shore, New Bedford, Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket, and Cape Cod. He trod a path that few have trod. And those who hated him... many had some things in their "closet" that could be called a "repulsive lifestyle."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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TJC - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
A nice tribute...and your top comments were illuminating and funny... a la all those weird coincidences/congruencies between the Lincoln/Kennedy assasinations.
alvin rhodes - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
good one
Wait a sec... - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
You credited the all-time Jeopardy champ as the original performer of this song. Is there someone with the same name as him?
Jason - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Bloody hell! Someone is hammering you with 1s Mr Pacholek! I DKTOS but I'll give you 5s anyway, to ease the 1s a bit. (If the same IP address crops up again and again on your parodies maybe ChuckyG will ban that IP).
111 - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
I wouldn't be so sure about that "path that few have trod" part. Granted, not everyone has been into buggering 17-year-old male subordinates, but almost everyone in the world is on that gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
Michael Pacholek - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Turns out "111" is smarter than "Wait a sec..." I went out of my way to say that the original singer, a Broadway star, is NOT the "Jeopardy" Ken Jennings. Len Cariou was the first Broadway Sweeney, and Angela Lansbury his demented leading lady.
Michael Pacholek - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
As Jim Nabors (one of the few rednecks I like) would say, "Sur-praz, sur-praz, sur-praz!" The Sarcastic Paranoid also wrote a Gerry Studds song, and it wasn't a tribute. Hey, S.P.: Gerry Studds fooled around with a page, and Ronald Reagan screwed an entire country. I know which one is in heaven.
Michael Pacholek - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
And now he's written one about Barney Frank in which he (the Paranoid, not Barney) calls Studds' death "amusing." I didn't laugh when Reagan, Goldwater or Thurmond died. And, of course, like the coward he is, he doesn't leave room for comments. I notice, inlike S.P. and Linda, "Lurker" has been awfully quiet since the Foley scandal. Whatever your count of your blessings are, add that one!
Schwarnold Ortzanegger - October 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Hey, One Eleven, stop spamming the site with your idiotic votes.

to Mike: leave "Wait A Sec" alone, he was just asking a simple question. You didn't need to bite his head off. He just spotted the NAME of the Jepoardy champ as the original performer and wondered if there was another famous person in the world with that name. He wasn't sure.

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