Despite the 'One Guy's' crummy scores
We're feeling quite serene
Pip is a tempter - and my fantasy
For thee - Higginsy
Show yourself Malky
Pippin's needing to possess you
Things we need to - to show to you!

Rice Cube's got it right
Knows if he tells he is going to lose his sight!
Be forewarned that Peregrin, Peregrin, Peregrin bites!

Billy - it's me - it's Merry and I've shown
I'm so bold - let us start with hands to hold
Malky - oh dear - it's Pippin - he has shown
What we'll do if we could get you back home

Mike's in the dark and feels lonely
It's no good asking LebeiW
Bob pines a lot - Tone-Def does not
Have a single clue
Royce would like to know - also Bobo
What are we? Mistress or master?

Peregrin roams in the night
Merry wants Pip locked away well out of sight
And says watch out cause Peregrin, Peregrin, Peregrin bites!

Malky - wants three - he won't be so alone
Nor too old - bring along the Florios
Malky - oh please say you're free - don't postpone
It's so droll - don't forget those Oreos

Mal don't you fight it - let us take a holiday
Ooh let us have it - wanna check your quals today
Know how to please Malky

Malky - Pippin and Merry - don't say "No'm"
We're resolved - want you in our control
Handcuffs - let's see - let us get the blindfold
It's our goal - your erogenous zones
Malcolm - Pippin and Merry want you prone
We're so bold

Malky - don't fight - this Merry, Peregrin
'Cus they bite...