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Song Parodies -> "FE - Man, That’s Ferrous!"

Original Song Title:

"Free Man in Paris"

Original Performer:

Joni Mitchell

Parody Song Title:

"FE - Man, That’s Ferrous!"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

The ore we need it, melted
Through heating; ingots
Are created in a found’ry domain
Through heat squeeze ‘em small
Pittsburgher’s somebody coaling around
Just chuck the mess
Into huge ol’ furnace
Ore agglomerated’s blasting for some time
It’s glowing to smelt a bit
It’s trying to be a good bar of iron

It was so FE. Man, that’s ferrous!
A swell-a metal has arrived
If it’s not shoddy: steeling it up for girders
Or for wrought furn’ture for outside
You know there’d be no railroadin’
But for the spikes trains snakin’ on
Know that the cars take metallury
Rely for zoomin’ along

By steeled regime-s
Stand building-ish beam-s
Stately they tower totting many floor
And every day
I just gawk, as they soar...
And ponder
On some clamps and vises
Knowing it’s grey when on display
Dig in ground: reveals that you’ll find
That ferrousness tends from mines

It was so FE. Man, that’s ferrous!
Why, many uses are contrived
Etchingly installing on cups, engravers
Goes in flute and trombone slide
You know unpainted, there’s much sorrow
For that’s the quirk, gets flakes upon
Broken: that ore, oxidization
Will find it crumble along...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

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John Barry - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Reminds me of my moniker for my fives iron: "Effie."
Porfle Popnecker - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
I've been waiting for someone to finally do a parody on this subject.
Brock O'Brahma - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
It's atomic weight has three 5's (55.845). Fittingly ironic.
Tommy Turtle - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Loved the parody's iron-y. (Was B O'B's pun intentional or accidental?) You've mined this hematocritical vein quite well. New isotope: 55.5Fe.

Trivia: Turtles have iron compounds in their brains that allow them to navigate the world's oceans (including a documented crossing of the North Pacific, between Mexico and Japan) by sensing the Earth's magnetic field. This brain-iron also explains a lot about TT. ;-D
    (is "metallury" en-UK/CW-specific? Couldn't find it in the dictionary. ... or typo for "metallurgy"?
p. s. Merry, if you get a chance, you might find something of interest in TT's reply to your comment at "Horny and Broke". Or you might not. ;)
Meriadoc - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks all!

Tommy: typo. My proofreader is apparently broken...
wandlimb - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
So this must be the heavy metal version of the song?
Proofreader Peregrin - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
I thought it was a deliberate mis-type! Besides, i pick up the other 99% of them ;) Wandlimb, the mad punster strikes again!
Andy Primus - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
That US way of spelling vice (as vise) always looks odd to me considering both the US & the UK use advice & advise (or is it pronounced vize and not vice in the US).

TT mentioned quite a while back that you two have written parodies about obscure British history (my hobby) in the past. If it’s a hobby of yours too, I’ll swap you a few links to my ones for a few links to your ones. No obligation to read my ones but, even if you don’t, leave the links for what you would consider your best British history ones.

Anglo-Saxons & Vikings (455 - 878):

King Harald III of Norway (1066):

King Edmund II (1016):

Bonnie Prince Charlie (1745):

Queen Boudicca (AD 61):
Peregrin - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
We will happily give yours a look! I will not follow them from a historical sense (apart from already recognising the names and therefore your parodies will serve to give me a greater understanding of who they were/what they did). Merry, on the other hand, will eat them up! She'll be all over these like flies on leftover take away!

Vice/Vise: I'm on your side! It's viCe. But whaddaya gonna do? These Yanks are just everywhere. Don't start me on the non-use of the letter U! (Pippin goes off to have to have a quick valium! :)

Our historical parodies - can all be found at our site. Use this link:

and then click on the 'Historical' link in 'Choose a category!' All of the pages link back to AmiRight at the bottom if you would like to leave comments. There are a number of them, from a quick glance the British-related ones are:

Bridge Over Derwent Water:


I'm Henry VIII, I Am:

My Favorite Kings:

Peasant Rally Throng Day:

The British get a mention in these:

Men Who Were Loons

Nineteen Hundred And Forty-Five

(Royal) People Who Died


If, after all that, the links do not work (or appear) for you, just search for the titles in our Author page on AmiRight itself. Hope you enjoy :)
Meriadoc - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Andy - you might like this one too:

Vassals Insincere:

And this one is not specifically English, but still historical:

Thirty Years of a War:
TT @ AP and M&P - August 05, 2012 - Report this comment
Merry & Pippin: Your knowledge of Cornish and other rather obscure languages was the only reason I asked, rather than shrug it off as a typo. I figured that there was a fair chance that it was Welsh or Gaelic or something, so thought I'd best ask... ;-D

Andy Primus:   "That US way of spelling vice (as vise) always looks odd to me considering both the US & the UK use advice & advise (or is it pronounced vize and not vice in the US)."
I had always been taught "vice" for the screw-clamp, and only a few years ago learnt (!) that "vise" is either 1) Common US, or 2) US-only "variant".... Dictiomaries difer: some regard "vise" as the standard US; others regard it as a permitted US *variant" of "vice", implying that "vice" is primary, as I had been taught. Weird.     "advice/advise" -- East of Pond, "advice" is the noun, and "(to) advise" is the verb.

"My lawyer advises me to plead the Fifth Amendment. It's good advice."

However, the noun for one who gives advice is "adviser". Go figure. (probably just more euphonious than "advicer".)
    Glad you finally hooked up with M/P on the history thing, I'm sure you lot will have a lot ;) to talk about. Cheers mates!
TT @ wandlimb - August 05, 2012 - Report this comment
The "heavy metal" version would have been done by Lead Zeppelin.
That heavy metal album went Gold.
Stu McArthur - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Hi guys. Up to your old syllable-twisting tricks I see. "Know that the cars take metallury" is classic M and P. oh, and Merry, sorry the Tiges had to thrash your beloved Brisbane Lions on Saturday night - I know how you love them so!
Peregrin - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Merry's beloved Brisbane Lions??? LOL
Peregrin - August 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Ooh, sorry Stu, I might have thought to thank you for your comments. Thank you :)
Meriadoc - August 07, 2012 - Report this comment
TT: Thanks for visiting. Cornish: only because I took an interest in it as 2nd gr. grandad hailed from Lelant. When I look for parody ideas I have to dredge the depths of obscureness. I'm happiest when writing about something minute or esoteric... drives Pippin crazy. ;)

Stu: The Lions got thrashed? I would've thought Pip would've told me - ha ha. Thanks for commenting; I feel like the wordplay is a little rusty - we've been gone for so long (this one was written at least a year or more back), but I think we will fall back into it - kinda like riding a bicycle. Just keep rooting for us... ;)
Brain-dead Turtle @ Andy P & Merry - August 09, 2012 - Report this comment
@ Andy Primus, if you see this: "East of Pond" should, of course, have been "West of Pond". You know what they say:
  "East is East, and West is West, and never T's brain shell mete..."

@ Merry: Obscure and arcane don't draw many readers, but they're a fave here as well, with stuff like "Caretta caretta" and "Pelagic". (Those are *not* plugs, merely illustrative titles of the genre of the esoteric. Do *not* read them!)
    Meanwhile, it's the s*x that keeps the readers coming (ponders whether to rephrase that) -- and every once in a while, both genres can be coupled or mated into one, e. g., "In Vagin' " , which included refs to Hamlet, Julius Caesar, an obscure computer-programming ref, and an incredibly obscene pun that no one got -- or if they did, had the good sense not to mention it . ;-D
    (Should there be an overwhelming urge to read that one, well ... resisTance would be fuTile. ;)
Tommy Turtle @ Peregrin - August 09, 2012 - Report this comment
"Don't start me on the non-use of the letter U!"

Sorry, TT knows virtually nothing of etymolgy, linguistics, and history of same, but wasn't the ADDITION of the "u" to (former) "or" endings mostly the result of a lucky shot by that pesky bast*rd from Normandy?

"Most words of this kind come from Latin non-agent nouns having nominative -or. These words were first borrowed into English from early Old French and the ending was spelled -or or -ur. After the Norman conquest of England, the ending became -our in Anglo-French in a bid to represent the Old French pronunciation, though color has sometimes been used in English since the 15th century. The -our ending was not only used in English borrowings from Anglo-French, but was also applied to the earlier borrowings that had used -or... "

    (TT here) British spellings of course prevailed in the Colonies, and even after that little Revolutionary Tiff, but after the Brits came back in 1812 and burnt Washington, D. C. to the ground (Where are they *now*, when we really *need* them? ;-D ), all things British were disfavoured -- I mean, disfavored. ;)
  And *only* because you mentioned Valium™ ,
Peregrin - August 09, 2012 - Report this comment
TT: Re the ewe (sorry, U) issue: I remain, as always, hemispherically Unrepentant!
Peregrin - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Brain-dead Turtle: "and an incredibly obscene pun that no one got -- or if they did, had the good sense not to mention it"

Never let Pippin be accused of having good sense :)
TT @ Peregrin - August 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Whosoever accuses Peregrin of having good sense shall have to deal with TT! (There!) ... now, go and find the "obscure computer-programming ref". ;-D

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