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Song Parodies -> "Sunday Evening Oscar Gown"

Original Song Title:

"Sunday Morning Coming Down"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Sunday Evening Oscar Gown"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

An Oscars parody to a Johnny Cash song? Yes, when it's the 4th Annual Bjork Awards! Maybe especially appropriate, in this year of "Brokeback Mountain." For past rips at bad Oscar outfits, see 2003's "Don't Wear That Gown," 2004's "You Can't Wear That," and 2005's "Pink Dresses." "Joan" is Joan Rivers, who went on ABC's talk show "The View" the day after the 2001 Oscars, and someone mentioned the "swan dress" of Icelandic singer-actress Bjork Gudmundsdottir, who'd been nominated for her role in "Dancer In the Dark." (She didn't win.) Joan: "Ugh! That idiot Bjork! Her dress was so bad, even heterosexuals were making fun of it!" This year's "Bjork Awards" were tough, because there weren't a lot of bombs as far as the gowns were concerned. As for the movies, that's another story
Well, I'm watchin' Sunday evening
and Sienna Miller's dress makes my eyes hurt.
And last year Charlize Theron wasn't bad
but Dior gowns with knots she should desert.
And Helena Bonham Carter and
Tim Burton's hair, each was a bad effort.
And I just can't be Bai Ling-ual
"cause her outfits should not see the light of day.

Michelle Williams, dress of yellow.
No wonder Heath left her for Jake on "Brokeback Mountain."
And when Maggie, that's Jake sister
got dressed, I guess several beers she had been poundin'.
And on came Amy Adams.
"Leathers" killed to make her dress, we'll now start countin'.
And then look at Catherine Keener
With a dark gray dress wrinkles and some fray.

On a Sunday crimson carpet
I'm listening to barbs by Joan
"cause there's something in those dresses
that makes a body want to groan.

And there's nothing short of George Bush
that's half as dumb in L.A. town
of an empty-headed actress
in Sunday evening's Oscar gown.

Well, Naomi, what's the deal?
Your gown looks like it was designed by King Kong.
And on Felicity Huffman
that's another gown that's really, really wrong.
But at least they weren't dressed
Just like Ben Stiller in Riddler costume and a thong.
And he should have used a stand-in
so he'd wouldn't look like fools of yesterday.

On a Sunday crimson carpet
I'm listening to barbs by Joan
"cause there's something in those dresses
that makes a body want to groan.

And there's nothing short of George Bush
that's half as dumb in L.A. town
of an empty-headed actress
in Sunday evening's Oscar gown.
To be fair, looking especially good were Best Actress winner Reese Witherspoon, Salma Hayek (as usual), Jennifer Lopez (only she can look good in olive green), and the increasingly luminous Jessica Alba. No sign of my ex-girlfriend Catherine Zeta-Jones, although Racel Weisz joined her as the second woman to be presented with Best Supporting Actress while pregnant. At least Hilary Swank didn't become my first-ever three-peat offender. I was afraid she was gonna "retire the cup."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
winner for best song about oscar gowns ?...you
AFW - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done,..Funny take on the awards show...five oscars
John Barry - March 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Mr. Pachwell, you acid-tongued fashion arbiter. 5s
Larry Hensley - March 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny, 555s.

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