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Song Parodies -> "I Won't Date a Woman Who's Name is Britney"

Original Song Title:

"I Need a Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

John Mellencamp

Parody Song Title:

"I Won't Date a Woman Who's Name is Britney"

Parody Written by:

Tony Wiseguy

The Lyrics

I wish I could say I feel sorry for her, but its hard to throw a pity party for someone who has more money than me. Some people just need attention.
I won't date a woman who acts like Britney.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I won't date a woman who acts like Britney.
I'd rather go hunting alone with Dick Cheney.

If I see your crotch one more time I'll scream.
Cross your legs and cover that ugly parasite.
Yes, you're bald too. Its not even Halloween.
You're weak, stay in rehab for more than one night now.

Publicity you'll never outgrow,
But your head could use some shaving foam.
And all those people who saw your sex video,
Probably thought they were watching some corny freak show.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take my chances with Paris or Lindsey.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take an umbrella and chase the paparazzi.

It makes me so depressed to see you misbehavin'.
I'm gonna throw a party and disconnect my phone.
You've shaved your head now its time for face savin'.
Hey - I keep having this dream of you living in a trailer home.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
You're a little cone head, say hello to Beldar for me.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take my chances with Paris or Lindsey.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'd rather get run over, have a bus hit me.
You betcha!
All my lyurics are copyrighted.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

stuart mcarthur - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
funny idea, and I managed to make the pacing work, but this is an example of where the syllable-count is correct (11) but it's hard to pace because the stresses are non-intuitive - "lover who" is supposed to map over "a woman" but it means you have to stress the "a" - other than that, some very funny lines - keep em coming TW - 555
The Grammar Police - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
You know, I like this parody a great deal; it was nicely written...but in your title, you should've said "Whose Name Is Britney", not "Who's Name...". Cuz "who's" is the contraction for "who is", so what you just said was "who is name is Britney"...that doesn't make sense.
Oh, btw, i must vote a 5 5 5 before I forget.
Matthias - April 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm not as strict of a gramatic or accuracy voter as these blokes are. I just see this as an all-around good parody. Keep 'em coming!
TW - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
I goofed big time on this one. The title and chorus of this parody should be. "I Won't Date A Woman Who Acts Like Britney". My sincerest apologies to all grammar freaks.
Darrell Wilhelm - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Tony, I think about Britney Spears in exactly the same way that you described in this song. Because of their ugly accents, Republican politics and atrocious eating habits, I hate all Southerners. I would much rather fight the war in Iraq than date any celebrity.
Below Average Dave - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Darell? I'm a southerner, but I'm not a republican and I wasn't born here, I hope that doesn't mean you hate me. . .on the parody. . .great job considering what little you had to work with.

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