I won't date a woman who acts like Britney.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I won't date a woman who acts like Britney.
I'd rather go hunting alone with Dick Cheney.

If I see your crotch one more time I'll scream.
Cross your legs and cover that ugly parasite.
Yes, you're bald too. Its not even Halloween.
You're weak, stay in rehab for more than one night now.

Publicity you'll never outgrow,
But your head could use some shaving foam.
And all those people who saw your sex video,
Probably thought they were watching some corny freak show.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take my chances with Paris or Lindsey.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take an umbrella and chase the paparazzi.

It makes me so depressed to see you misbehavin'.
I'm gonna throw a party and disconnect my phone.
You've shaved your head now its time for face savin'.
Hey - I keep having this dream of you living in a trailer home.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
You're a little cone head, say hello to Beldar for me.

(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'll take my chances with Paris or Lindsey.
(I won't date a woman who acts like Britney).
I'd rather get run over, have a bus hit me.
You betcha!