temperature's rising...oven's on high
bird has no future...destined to die
my heart is so heavy...i feel such dread
this bird is just a baby...too young to be dead
cool turkey...has brought me...lots of fun

body is shaking...he starts to moan
look at his body...just skin and bones
don't cut him wide open...don't make me weep
don't wanna see him...down in the deep freeze
cool turkey...has brought me...lots of fun

cook for six hours...baste well and drain
pray you won't kill him...free him again
oh, i'll be a good boy...i'll be so swell
i promise you anything...keep my pet from this hell
cool turkey...has brought me...lots of fun