I have a condo, way overpriced
Most of my food stuff, I share with the mice
I work the whole week, then I'm on call
I have an ex-wife who gobbles it all

I'm nearly crazy and I drive a crap car
I'm just looking for booze at a smelly old bar
Life's been tough for me so far

My lousy phone bill cost one-eighty-three
I broke my glasses, and now I can't see
I made a typo, my tax return
The I.R.S is helping me learn

I met a nice girl and went on a date
Finally got lucky, did copulate
Then I got me a strange rash, was painful just to pee
Now penicillin is going in me

Luck's not my friend, and I can't seem to win
(Everybody say “a fool, a fool”)
Not much to spend, and I'm ugly as sin
Life's been tough for me so far

I go to parties, I think I've seen four
It's hard to stay when you're shown the front door
It's hard to handle, there's no one to blame
Everything is so dismal, why won't it change?

This world seems hazy when no good can be found
(Everybody say “Oh, no..oh, no”)
Guess I'll just wait until the next one comes ‘round
Life's been tough for me so far

Yow, yow, yow