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Song Parodies -> "A Female Pirate Looks at Fifty"

Original Song Title:

"A Pirate Looks at Forty"

Original Performer:

Jimmy Buffett

Parody Song Title:

"A Female Pirate Looks at Fifty"

Parody Written by:

Lee Crowe

The Lyrics

Mother F***king Hot Flash
I have heard your call
Haven’t had a good night’s sleep since
I was three feet tall

Out to the hall
Out to the hall

Watched the men go by me
Promoted by the score
Helen Gurley Brown once said
That we could have it all

We’ve had it all
We’ve had it all

Yes I am a Pirate
I can say it’s so
A female would have walked the plank
Two hundred years ago

I can let go
I can let go

I’ve done my bit of snugglin’
Cut my share of grass
Woulda made enough money to buy Miami
If it weren’t for that ceiling of glass

Pain in the ass
Pain in the ass

Been with some younger fellas
Been with some older ones too
They seemed to get mad if I was successful
At whatever I tried to do

That was my cue
I got a clue

Mother F***king hot flash
Cotton instead of lace
They no longer stare at my beautiful hair
Or my boobs or my butt or my face

Slowin’ the race
A nice steady pace…

I’d like to get drunk for two weeks
But I’ve got some laundry to do
I gotta stop wishin’, the gay girls go fishin’
Guess I should go fishin’ too

Fishin’ would do
Fishin’ with you

Fishin’ would do
Fishin’ with you

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   2
 5   3

User Comments

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Ed Bulmer - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Very funny. Love it.
Patrick - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
Not familiar with the original. But we have two age songs in one day. The first fellow is crying about his worn out posterior and you're upset 'cause men won't look at yours.
Old Man Ribber - September 20, 2010 - Report this comment
This is something to Crowe about. Good job! Keep sending us songs. ;D
Lee - September 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys. I dashed this one out pretty quickly. I love the original, love pirates, could always relate to the original but started thinking about how female pirates either had to disguise themselves or walk the plank...and I thought "Mother F-ing hotflash" was funny. Don't often resort to the F-word but sometimes it works...

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