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Song Parodies -> "The Hate-Swilling Racist Blowup"

Original Song Title:

"The Great Filling Station Holdup"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jimmy Buffett

Parody Song Title:

"The Hate-Swilling Racist Blowup"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl

The Lyrics

Call me jaded, but I haven't stopped laughing yet at the media's coverage of the upcoming Budweiser Race Relations Summit. I don't presume to know Officer Crowley's thoughts, but I had fun imagining that they would be close to this.
I pulled up to his Cambridge address
On a routine police call
Knocked on the door and asked the man
For his ID, that was all.
“Racist!” he exploded,
“You’re just hatin’ cuz I’m black.
You and your honky Mama
Better run and don’t look back!”

And now I
Wish I was somewhere other than here
I know that these two don’t consider me their peer.
Yes, I wish I was somewhere other than here
Since that Hate-Swillin’ Racist Blowup
Shot into high gear.

Hot under the collar, with a case of “Poor, Poor Me”
He got all the airtime slots on National TV
Me, I got a microscopic look at my career
Demanding an apology
For my harsh racial smear

That’s why I
Wish I was somewhere other than here
You can bet I feel like they’re the hunters, I’m the deer
Yes, I wish I was somewhere other than here
Since that Hate-Swillin’ Racist Blowup
Shot into high gear.

Now we’re sittin’ in the White House
Just as pleasant as can be
With just a few reporters
*Photo Opportunity!*
We smile at all the cameras
And shake hands with Barack
For pictures in the paper, for TV…gee, what a crock!

And so I
Wish I was somewhere other than here
(It's not true Obama can turn water into beer.)
Yes, I wish I was somewhere other than here
Since that Hate-Swillin’ Racist Blowup
Shot into high gear.

Yes, that Hate-Swillin' Racist Blowup
Is still in high gear!
CNN reports that the president will be drinking Budweiser. Does this not give unfair advantage to that distributor, to the detriment of other American breweries? And does it not implicitly indicate a value judgment favoring Clydesdales over other animals-- the endangered Polar Bear, for instance? I'm just sayin.... ;)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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blackjack21 - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great title switch and another great parody. Can't wait to see the lawsuit this guy files against the police.
AFW - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
sums it up with much hilarity...
Old Man Ribber - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Ribber-tickling work here. I'd be afraid to join him and the President for a beer...two on one is never fair odds. ;D
Andria - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Great one Fiddlegirl, and I would think Obama is inept enough at American-style politics as it is without being drunk on Budweiser (or anything else for that matter, as well as hubris and publicity like he is now.) 5s.
Jason - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
This was really funny! 555s
Mark Scotti - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful story telling, much like Mr. Jimmy Buffett!!!
TJC - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderfully wonky n' buffeting version of Miranda-read'a-ville---writ large!
Andy Primus - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
That's funny (your parody & the cop/prof story). I said on a parody a couple of days ago that if it carries on like that your cops will only deal with people of their own 'type' for fear of being called a racist. I suppose that would make it pretty good for any Mongolian crooks or wayward Maasai warriors that live in the US.
Fiddlegirl - July 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Thx to AFW and Jason!
Blackjack: No kidding!
OMR: I agree. You'd think if anyone could recognize a set-up, it would be a police officer!
Andria: It would certainly seem so...Did you catch Mark's Obama joke yesterday?
Mark: What a nice compliment! :D
TJC: Witty, as always!
Andy: I think that could well be a prophetic statement. Security agents are already on eggshells, for fear of "profiling"... Until something goes wrong- then they'll be denounced for not acting soon enough. Can't win for losing.
Tommy Turtle - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
What I said to Andy Primus about "his vegetation": Just Fived you for the title switch. Now I'm going to read it.
Tommy The Movie - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
For relieving me of the burden of parodying this incident, which has been weighing heavily, you have my eternal gratitude. :)

I'm sure that burglars everywhere, especially African-American ones, are thanking Obama for making neighbors more reluctant to call the cops when they see someone forcing their way into a home, and for making (white) cops more reluctant to do their jobs properly by asking the forced-enterer to provide his identification, for fear of being labeled not only "racist", but "stupid". There's stupidity here, but I don't think it's the cops. Gates, Jackson, Sharpton, et al. seem to go out of their way to provoke incidents so that they can holler "racism". I thought Obama was sharper than that, to fall for it. I'm badly disappointed that he did.

I cannot tell a lie: That's a reprint of my comment to Barry J. Mitchel's "Breaking In Is Hard To Do"
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/neilsedaka31.shtml,
but I'll keep saying it so long as the incident is around.

btw, how is this guy a Harvard professor, when he's not smart enough to realize that breaking into any home always looks suspicious to someone who doesn't know you, and that the police have not only the right, but the duty, to ensure that you're who you say you are. (Does any burglar say, "I live here", and the cops go, "Oh, OK" and leave?) Oh, wait, I said "Harvard" -- n/m, just answered my own question.
CNN - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Actually, Anheuser-Busch was wholly acquired by the Belgian brewer, InBev, in June of 2008. So the situation is even worse than your outro described: The President is out-sourcing beer to foreign companies, a slap in the face to American-owned breweries while also worsening our trade deficit. Of course, he probably doesn't even know this -- you don't have to know anything about the business world to create promote, and sign legislation controlling it, as this and numerous other elections have proven.
Fiddlegirl - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
CNN: I was unaware of that. It's difficult to "buy American-made" when it isn't clear exactly what is and what isn't, isn't it? (Why, yes. Yes, I am an English teacher...) ;)
Fiddlegirl - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
TT: Wise comments well worth posting again. Though, entre nous, I'm not convinced his initial outburst was so much about racism as it was rooted in indignation that someone of his position and importance (at least in his own mind) was being subjected to common police inquiry. It didn't take long, though, for the others you mentioned to appropriate him as a "symbol".

Anyway, I appreciate all the comments. I'm sure there's probably a better forum for this discussion somewhere else-- but in the absence of direction to such, I'll gladly post my thoughts here! :)
Tommy Tutor - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
No better "forum", since satire has been regarded as a potent form of social critique since the ancient Roman satirists, Lucilus, Juvenal, Horace, and Persus. (Many have labeled TT's works as "Juvenal", or something like that ... a fine compliment, surely!) Keep on dancing -- I mean, posting -- OMG, another inspiration, but not gonna do it -- got 100+ unfinished ideas already.

English teacher? Seriously? *Now* you've done it! Assuming you weren't kidding, the following are Required Reading for this quintmester:
"There, Their, They're (Usage Guide)": http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebyrds27.shtml
"Fewer / Less (Usage Guide)": http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2007.shtml
"Who And Whom (Usage Guide)": http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2006.shtml
"Punctuate": http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles1719.shtml

Please turn in your reports and reviews by the end of the squintmester. Class dismissed.
Grammargirl - July 31, 2009 - Report this comment
o izzat y i faild englsh?
Yes, I really am an English teacher. I began adult life as a musician (if one can call that an "adult" job), but changed careers a few years back. I survived my 7th graders, but am starting this year as a SpEd (ED) teacher in the high school. The principals remarked that there might not be too much difference... ;) The punctuation parodies may actually prove handy, if you don't mind them being used in the classroom. I loved them!
Copyboy - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
An English teacher who can't read? Or just one who asks about usage permission without bothering to read the copyright notice? It's so hard to get good help these days... OK, will spell it out for you, verbatim from the © of "Who And Whom" and "Fewer / Less":

"Teachers who wish to use this parody for educational purposes may display and/or print it (but not sell it), without modification and with proper credit, including a link to this page."

And preferably, an Internet connection, or at least a requirement that they all go to the library or home computer and vote and comment ... or just look at them. Should do marvelous things for the hit count! ... let me know how it goes :)
John Jenkins - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes, the hype connected to the "beer summit" is way out proportion to its importance, but it does lend it self to parodies quite nicely. Very good substitutions and very good parody.
Fiddlegirl - August 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, John. Comedians (and parodists) will never lack for inspiration as long as there are government and media personalities to lampoon. [Note to TT: That's LAM-poon, not "poon"... unless your obsession with Sarah has abated by now.)

Copyboy: Sheesh... someone woke up on the wrong side of the coral bed! Are you sure you're not a "snapping" turtle?

Merely as a shellpful legal point, usage provisions were noted on "W/W" and "F/L", but not on the other two. Therefore, permission was properly requested in compliance with copyright laws. So their. ;))
Reef - er, madness? - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Right, I got it the first time, "Lamb-poon". It'll be up on Monday. (you'll also find the partial line, "Lampooning poon of lamb" somewhere among the rich, vain vein, vane though be his moods, that is TT's song list.

Point well taken. Turtle hatched from parodic egg evolved gradually; T,T,T was written only two months after hatching here; Punc less than a year; really didn't think about these being used by schoolmarms until the latter pair, many moons later.

And *please* quit lobbing these soft ones high and close to the net, like "snapping turtle" - unless it's deliberate? Hate taking bait and doing the obvious :) :) :)

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