On the South Side of Chicago
if you're driving, better be in a tank.
And if you go down there, you better just beware
of a man named Big Hurt Frank.
Frank Thomas, he's trouble
you know he stands about six-foot-four.
All the Pale Hose fans call him "The Big Hurt"
and all the pitchers call him "Sir."

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Now Frank's a first baseman
and he wears his pinstriped clothes
and he likes to swing his Louisville Slugger
under everybody's nose.
He's got two MVP Awards, he gets those RBIs
and when he gets ahold of a hanging curveball
watch how far it flies!

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Last Friday, at Comiskey Park
the Mariners came to town
and when the Sox did battle with the boys from Seattle
here is what went down:
On the mound was Randy Johnson
and the trouble soon began.
The Big Unit learned a lesson 'bout messin'
with the White Sox' first baseman.

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Well, Johnson threw a fastball
and he soon saw that was wrong.
The Big Hurt swung and soon that ball
it was going, going, gone!

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.
'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.
Yeah, he is badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.