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Song Parodies -> "Bad, Bad Big Hurt Frank"

Original Song Title:

"Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jim Croce

Parody Song Title:

"Bad, Bad Big Hurt Frank"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I'm suffering from the Tongish Flu: Submitting parodies from back in the day. Hopefully, it's just the 24-hour variety. This was written when Frank Thomas was the best hitter in baseball, and the Big Unit was still in Seattle. Since then, the Big Hurt has fallen off the map, and come back with a vengeance. Still trying to do parodies of all 30 MLB teams. (This will make 10.) Dave Kingman played for the crosstown Cubs, and he hit long home runs and struck out way too much, and was known as "Kong." The Seattle Kid was Ken Griffey Jr., now with the Cincinnati Reds, or should I say the 4192nd MASH. He wanted to say he Rose to that occasion, but instead he's hurt and on the Bench. And Thomas is actually six-five, not six-four.
On the South Side of Chicago
if you're driving, better be in a tank.
And if you go down there, you better just beware
of a man named Big Hurt Frank.
Frank Thomas, he's trouble
you know he stands about six-foot-four.
All the Pale Hose fans call him "The Big Hurt"
and all the pitchers call him "Sir."

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Now Frank's a first baseman
and he wears his pinstriped clothes
and he likes to swing his Louisville Slugger
under everybody's nose.
He's got two MVP Awards, he gets those RBIs
and when he gets ahold of a hanging curveball
watch how far it flies!

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Last Friday, at Comiskey Park
the Mariners came to town
and when the Sox did battle with the boys from Seattle
here is what went down:
On the mound was Randy Johnson
and the trouble soon began.
The Big Unit learned a lesson 'bout messin'
with the White Sox' first baseman.

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

Well, Johnson threw a fastball
and he soon saw that was wrong.
The Big Hurt swung and soon that ball
it was going, going, gone!

'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.
'Cause he's bad, bad Big Hurt Frank
takes on the Indians, Tigers and Yanks
he's badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.
Yeah, he is badder than old Kingman Kong
and better than the Seattle Kid.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Tim Hall - September 15, 2003 - Report this comment
When I lived in Chicago, I was of a select few that followed both teams and Frank Thomas made it fun. You can put it on the boarrrrd YES!

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