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Song Parodies -> "Allison"

Original Song Title:

"Aqualung"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jethro Tull

Parody Song Title:

"Allison"

Parody Written by:

Hu’s On First

The Lyrics

This is about former Smallville actress Allison Mack who played Chloe on the show. She ended up doing some really messed up stuff as the second-in-command of a cult called NXIVM, which was headed by Keith Raniere. People who know Allison say she started out as a victim but became a victimizer.
Sitting in the courtroom
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison

So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep

More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***

Do you still remember
Your friend the Man of Steel
When the superhero drama
Always seemed to be so real
But now you’re helping recruit slaves
And branding them with fire
A symbol linking them to you and Keith****

So long ago
An actress who felt empty
Found a group
Where she thought she belonged
Digging in deep
She was slowly getting brainwashed
Rising towards the top
Lost weight and sleep

More than a friend
The way Keith seemed to you
A father figure too
Someone to trust
Allison my friend,
It’s not a good idea to
Put fake cow udders
On somebody’s bust***

Allison my friend
It’s not a good idea
To think someone like Keith is
Someone to trust

Sitting in the courtroom
Hearing ‘bout the girls she helped to groom
Thin as a pretzel stick
That’s the way the boss Keith likes his chicks*
Hey, Allison
They could never relax
Nor were they allowed Brazilian wax**
Hey, Allison
Every Smallville fan’s sad
How could sweet Chloe go so very bad?
Oh, Allison
Oh, Allison
*Women in the cult were forced to eat only 800 calories a day **Women in the cult were subjected to sleep deprivation and were not allowed to remove their pubic hair ***Women who failed to follow orders were made to wear fake cow udders over their breasts. ****Women in the cult were branded with a symbol that resembles a combination of Mack’s and Raniere’s initials.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

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