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Song Parodies -> "Atragon: The Movie That Can Bore Thru Anything"

Original Song Title:

"Aqualung"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jethro Tull

Parody Song Title:

"Atragon: The Movie That Can Bore Thru Anything"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

"Atragon"(1963) is a Japanese-made Science-Fiction movie about a gigantic flying submarine that has a big old drill bit on it's nose...SO...yup, you guessed it, it can BORE through anything...The plot, such as it is, is that Earth is suddenly being plagued by very regular and very violent earthquakes. To get to the "bottom" of this "Atragon" is being sent all the way down to the Ocean's floor to investigate, discover the cause, and, of course try to fix it. Well...the "cause' is this: down beneath the Ocean's floor exists the "Mu" civilization. To get energy they have to suck it out of the Earth and that is causing all those dratted disturbances for the "top-landers" (regular people). Now, an odd thing about these two civilizations is that ALL the people in it, the "top-land" regular people and the "Mu's" all look like they are Japanese. When I was watching it my brother, David, strolled in for a bit and paraphrased this big, long speech given by the "Mu-ish" Emperor - "Whee haavv evaaved a couchuure faah bee-yonned thaat ovv Moarttaarll Maann, arlthowe muutsch ree-semm-ber-ring the Jaap-pan-neese." It took me quite awhile to stop laughing at that. In addition, the movie had terrible dubbing and the continuity was virtually non-existent.
Having lots of earthquakes
Need to make this stop; what will it take?
What's happ'ning? No one knows
Ask the Government; they won't disclose
Here's "Atragon"
Flying sub with drill bit
Must have been conceived by half-wits
"Atragon"
Boy, this movie does stink
Special effects used are rinky-dink
"Atragon"

Down there in Mu
They're meeting in the war room
Everybody there looks Japanese
Clock on the wall
One moment says "twelve-thirty"
The next scene it shows
"quarter-to-three"

I start to groan
A good thing I am stoned
I'm watching on TV
all these boring scenes
Movie – it won't end
Must be something else on TV
I start to nod
I'll soon be catching "zzzeeees"

My mind starts to wander
I wonder, "What's to eat?"
Maybe ice cream or I'll drink a beer
or go out for "Foster Freeze"
Ate a batch of raspberry shortbread
Then topped it off with "Mounds"
Now my stomach bloats
my acid reflux stings

This movie sucks
The acting is pathetic
Wastes my time
The whole thing really blows
Dubbing is so bad
Continuity is wretched
I can't make any sense
of what I see
No-oh-oh-oh-OH

Down there in Mu
They don't know what to do
Highly evolved; they all look
Japanese
"Atragon" won't end
and the story's not intriguing
It's poorly shot
unfocused on my screen (Gee-ee-ee-ez)
Oh-whoa-oh-oh-OH

(Long instrumental break - lead guitar)

~ ~ {Lyrics in this part replace "Dee-dee-dee-dee" part} ~ ~
~ ~ ~ [Real bad TV] ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ [You see, it's real bad TV] ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ [Nothing on my TV] ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ [I want to see] ~ ~ ~

"Atragon" won't end
What I see is unappealing
This movie's got to be the worst I've seen
(Bleahh)

(Instrumentals)

Diving in the deep blue
Searching for the cause – it's down in Mu
Weak plot; I hold my nose
Inept writing has now been exposed
"Atragon"
Flying sub with drill bit
Story's so contrived; it's all bullsh*t
"Atragon"
Bad movie, it sure sucks
Saw on "Pay-per-view" for seven bucks
Phew, "Atragon"
"UGGHH!!"

(Instrumentals)

NO-OH-OH-OH
"Atragon-ah-ha-on"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
nothing funnier than bad sci-fi...i must see this movie, now...haven't seen ya in here for a while...welcome back....5s
Adagio - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Hehe..you took my comment, Alvin. I like the clock bit..what budget? 5's
Paul Robinson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
alvin - good luck finding it. I looked it up in the allmovieguide.com and it has the synopsis and all, but I didn't see any link to buy...but it must be out there somewhere...it was produced by the same outfit that did all those cheesy Japanese monster & sci-fi flicks back in the 50's and beyond. BTW - when I saw this one the credits showed "Nick Adams" (of "Johnny Yuma" fame) as the "Star", and I remember he appeared VERY briefly at the beginning in some meaningless scene(s) where he discusses the problem with a bunch of scientists (I think he is supposed to be one of them...???). But in the "allmovieguide" listing he is not shown as being in this film, although when I go to other films by that Production Company he IS in many of them...it's possible they added his "scene" to this movie after it was released, perhaps even just for American TV consumption. Kind of insult to injury, since he may have already been dead by then (died of overdose in 1968)...anyway, thanks for looking in. Glad you enjoyed this. Adagio - "Continuity? We don't need no stinking Continuity..."...Thanks! ~ ~ ~
Adagio - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
"Continuity? We don't need no stinking Continuity..."...LOLOL!!
Paul Robinson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
FYI - alvin, it does appear to be available from numerous sources over on e-bay...
AFW - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Not familiar with this song or the movie, but from reading this, I'm sure your parody is much, much better...
Paul Robinson - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, AFW - well, I think it's a whole lot better than the movie, but the OS, "Aqualung" is a fantastic piece of music...I am honored just to be able to use it here...
Phil Alexander - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Perfect subsitution for "Aqualung" - don't know the movie (hell, it was made before I was born), but I guess you explained it all, and ain't those sci-fi B-movies wonderful?
Paul Robinson - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil...I left out a couple of the movie's "sub-plots" because they made the movie even incomprehensible...I think they were "filler" anyway...the studio that made them apparently had all the actors under contract and must have decided that everyone that ihad under contract must appear in ALL their movies, even if there really wasn't a legitimate role for them to play...that's the only way I can explain the "sub-plot" that has the step-daughter of Atragon's commander being kidnapped by the "Mu" folks...Yeah, love those cheesy Sci-fi B-movies...
2nz - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn, a Sci-Fi flick I've never heard of to a song I don't know... Atra-ed man, but I don't know where you -gon with this one. Anyhow, even I can appreciate a stanza like
"This movie sucks
The acting is pathetic
Wastes my time
The whole thing really blows"

Welcome back, Paul
Paul Robinson - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
2nz - WOW! You never heard "Aqualung"? WOW AM I OLD OR WHAT? Well, the album did come out in 1970, so that is 35 years ago...when I was but a sprite of 20...why I had just only a year or so before taken my first toke of...well, nevermind about that...It's really a great song - the album is actually quite a classic as well, it being one of the first rock & roll "concept" albums...Now the movie, Atragon...No...NOT a classic, unless you consider "classically bad" to be a "Classics" category (it could be, I guess). Glad you liked my lyrics, though...I really had fun singing this one - I made a "voice-over" recording and I believe it came out as one of my better ones...I "do" Ian Anderson's ("Jethro Tull" is his group) voice pretty well. Thanks for stopping in for the look...

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