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Song Parodies -> "Enterprise Superstars: This Wesley Must Die"

Original Song Title:

"This Jesus Must Die"

Original Performer:

Jesus Christ Superstar

Parody Song Title:

"Enterprise Superstars: This Wesley Must Die"

Parody Written by:

Michael McVey

The Lyrics

"Jesus Christ Superstar", ©1970 by Andrew Lloyd Webber

RIVAN

Good Leator, the Edos wait for you.
The Humanoids have no respect for you.

LEATOR

Yes, Miss Rivan, you know why we are here.
We've not much time, and a trespasser here

MOB (outside)

Trespasser! Humanoid!
Trespasser! Humanoid!
Trespasser! Humanoid!
Trespasser! Humanoid!

LEATOR

Listen to this stupid group, those blockheads of Starfleet!
A trick or two with spaceships, and our God is sure displeased!

ALL (inside)

They are dangerous!

MOB (outside)

Beverley! That's your boy?

ALL (inside)

They are dangerous!

MOB (outside)

Tell us, Wesley, who you think you are.

MEDIATOR ONE

They're on Rubicun right now to vex almighty God.

MEDIATOR TWO

They started out on Strnad's world, and now they want our sod.

ALL (inside)

They are dangerous!

MOB (outside)

Wes Crusher, trespasser!

ALL (inside)

They are dangerous!

MEDIATOR ONE

Look Leator, the boy has disappeared!

MEDIATOR TWO

Yes Leator, just what we might have feared!

RIVAN

Hey, wait!
The humanoids are running from their problems!

MEDIATOR ONE

What shall we do about this boy, Wesley Crusher?
Troublesome juvenile, pitful fool.

MEDIATOR TWO

The grownups, his army, are now fleeing justice.

LEATOR

One thing I'll say for him -- his captain's no fool.

RIVAN

We dare not leave them to stir up more trouble.
Their half-witted Starfleet is out of control.

EDOANS

But how can we stop them?
They warp out in seconds!
Ten light years a minute, they're out of our pull.

LEATOR

I see bad things arising.
They colonize Rubicun, our god gets annoyed.
I see Edo destruction,
Our elimination because of one boy.
Edo destruction because of one boy.

ALL (inside)

Because, because, because of one boy.

LEATOR

Our elimination because of one boy.

ALL (inside)

Because, because, because of one, 'cause of one, 'cause of one boy.

MEDIATOR TWO

What then to do about imperial Starfleet?

RIVAN

How can we deal with their technology?

EDOANS

Where do we start with a race that is bigger
Than Kirk was when Kirk did his space travel thing?

LEATOR

Fools, you have no perception!
The risks we are taking are frighteningly high!
We must crush them completely,
So like Kirk before him, this Wesley must die.
For the sake of our planet, this Wesley must die.

ALL (inside)

Must die, must die, this Wesley must die.

LEATOR

So like Kirk before him, this Wesley must die.

ALL (inside)

Must die, must die, this Wesley must, Wesley must, Wesley must die!
©2007 by Michael W. McVey

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment
OMG--please tell me you are ultimately NOT making W.C. the J.C. here! No, go wherever this takes you.

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