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Song Parodies -> "At Seventy"

Original Song Title:

"At Seventeen"

Original Performer:

Janis Ian

Parody Song Title:

"At Seventy"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you do not know the song, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here
I’ve learned that you think seventy
Means life is meant for only teens
And while your world is still nubile
The next three verses you've compiled
If dentureless, you never chew'th
Need nappies tight for when you poo'th
And bent on fun swill Geritol
And fantasize of Dr. Ru'th...

Arthritis got your bones in stasis
Cracks appear on sagging faces
Pension means detained at home
Depend on others, all alone
Install toupee on tressless bean
And nurture wood viagrally
It’s tonics, pills and creams at seventy

Too-much told tale again recounts
Woe - things now sag that used to bounce
When driving, passengers unnerve
Now geriatric, void of verve
Above narratin’ small town teen
Scary finds such fact aggrieved
With a horror so discomforting:
In decades you’ll be elderly...

Remember those you think insane
Use more of just half their brain
There’s no-one who would disagree:
You speak mono-syllablic'ly
Insurance rates are rapin' you;
Not near so high: my payments due
My bank account's well-heeled at seventy

Unhealthfulness in all your miens
For exercise, choose GameBoy scenes
(My glow enflames as I recall
When jumping in leaves stacked at fall)
Not so opportune in career-way:
The world of youngsters of today
'Less reams of college (costly fees)
You’re stuck with work at Micky Ds

You all play at gangs, graffiti share
They’re falling down - those pants you wear
Just text your lovers on the phone
No in-ti-ma-cy can be sown
That "hooking up's" romance for thee
And burn your brains with Ecstasy
I smug, prefer to be, age seventy...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
At seventy, ’twill be a very good year -- / A very good year, / For I’ll then be retired, / No longer be mired / In a job. I’m inspired / Now I’ve passed six decades / To give your song accolades! :-)
John Barry - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I'd give you 17, but you'll have to settle for 15. You two are consistently awesome.
mandamoo - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
3 x 5 for the septuagenarian's ! Excellent job to a great OS :)
Invisible Boy - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
This is one of my favorite OS. Well done. this what I have to look forward to ?
Taf - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Awesome. Nicely done!!
alvin - January 24, 2008 - Report this comment
oh crap...half of those things are happening to me NOW...brilliant as usual, hobbits
CeramicsFanatic - January 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Hah! Loved it! :D
nally - January 25, 2008 - Report this comment
^ Hi Karen! Haven't seen you on this site in ages. By the way I still am stumped on your quiz. I look forward to the next one.

As for the parody, I DKTOS, but I trust that it is well paced. I'll look for it on Youtube.
Peregrin - January 26, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't know Nally! We provide all these links for ya :) (Refer above the parody text)! Hope that helps.
nally - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Whatever you say, Pippen! However you should recognize that I do not have a capitalized screenname. If I wanted it to be capitalized, I would have capitalized each instance of it. I have been using the alias for about five years now, and it came from a flub on the GSN series "Lingo." Btw my real name is Jeffrey.

I'm pretty sure they might have this song on Youtube. I've been able to find lots of older pop songs on there. All I do is type the song name and/or artist in the searchbox, and I get a good number of results.
Peregrin - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Quid pro quo, Jeffrey :) Pippin has 2 i's in it ;-p
Johnny D - February 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I'm grateful for each present moment - and for parodies like this, too! ;-)
MasonR - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantastic--sorry I didn't see this sooner! Brilliant job. As for me, only 19 years to go 'till seventy!

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