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Song Parodies -> "Taft"

Original Song Title:

"Shaft"

Original Performer:

Isaac Hayes

Parody Song Title:

"Taft"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

William Howard Taft was the son of an Attorney General and Secretary of War, father and grandfather of Senators, and great-grandfather of the current Governor of Ohio. He was also the only man to have served as President and a Justice of the Supreme Court - Chief Justice, in fact. That was the job he really wanted. But the two people he trusted the most, his wife Helen (much more ambitious than he was) and outgoing President Theodore Roosevelt, wanted him to be President. Turned out, Taft was right, and Mrs. Taft and TR was wrong - mainly because "TAFT" did not, as his 1908 critics suggested, stand for "Take Advice From Theodore." Still, the heaviest President (355 pounds at his peak) left a big fat legacy.
(very, very, very long instrumental opening)

Who's the fat public guy
who time and history passed by?
(Taft!)
You're damn right!

Who is the man
whose Ohio dynasty stands?
(Taft!)
Can you dig it?

Who's the Presidential sort
who made it to the Supreme Court?
(Taft!)
Right on!

They say this cat Taft was a bad judger...
(Shut your mouth!)
Well, I'm talkin' 'bout Taft!
(And we can dig it!)

He's a complicated man
and no one understands what's with his woman!
(Mrs. Taft!)

(instrumental close)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

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Tim Hall - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job on a president that is not remembered for a whole lot. In fact , Ohio's recent governor was Bob Taft
Arwen - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm totally laughing out loud. I had to spell it out even...because this is far too good...and a simple LOL wouldn't do.

Honestly...I think if a man wants to win my elvish heart...he really needs to work more "Can you dig it?"s into his vernacular.
alvin rhodes - September 09, 2004 - Report this comment
i'm daft for taft..nice job...5s
Michael Pacholek - September 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen: Ever see the "Honeymooners" episode where the upstairs neighbor, a 14-year-old girl, asks Alice if her 18-year-old boyfriend can meet her at the Kramdens' apartment? Unfortunately, Ralph and Norton are there when he arrives, and spouts all this mid-Fifties slang, and they don't know what he's talking about. "What'sa matter, man? Aren't ya hep? Don't ya dig?" Norton: "No, he drives a bus. I'm the one that digs. I work in the sewer." Of course, I've got to dig REAL deep for some of these parodies. And can you imagine how deep they had to dig for Big Bill Taft's grave at Arlington National Cemetery? (So far, he and JFK are the only two Presidents buried there.)
Arwen - September 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Hell no, I've never seen that episode of the "Honeymooners!" Sheesh...what do you think I am...OLD? ; )

I'm feeling older by the day...truth be told...kids that I used to babysit are coming to my office to further their college careers...hmph. Honestly...I don't know when they all grew up.

Who knew that 28 would feel so much like 80? Maybe I should just accept it and start watching old black and white TV shows...I heard somewhere that the "Honeymooners" is pretty good...
John Jenkins - September 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Michael, but I'm surprised that you did not mention that Taft was the first president to throw out the first pitch at the opening game of the baseball season.

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