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Song Parodies -> "Dallas Sucks"

Original Song Title:

"Cleveland Rocks"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ian Hunter

Parody Song Title:

"Dallas Sucks"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"I've seen it, fathers with three, four, five-year-old kids, and the kids know four, five, maybe six words, and two of them, taught to them by their fathers, are, 'Dallas sucks!'" -- Angelo Cataldi, morning host, WIP all-sports radio, AM 610 in Philadelphia. And I thought the Giants were the Eagles' arch-rivals. Guess the Cowboys are America's Team... That They Love to Hate!
Three-four! Three-four! Three-four!

Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!

All this energy calling me
from the team so dumb!
They're such a crude football brood!
Hell's where they belong!

All the Giant fans in the Meadowlands yell
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Exit 16 has the fans so mean goin'
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!

Mama's got her painted hair.
To her team she's true.
From the Vet to a new clean lair
the Eagles are so due!

All the Packer kids with the big cheese heads go
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Livin' in sin with an old Redskin goin'
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!

I got a tape of Super Bowl II!
Dallas ain't in it 'cause they turned blue!
The Packers iced 'em and I would, too!
Oh, Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!

All through the place
smash their face
we hate the Cowboys more!

Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!
Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks! Dallas sucks!

Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah!

Three-four! Three-four! Three-four!

I hate 'em! (hate 'em, hate 'em, hate 'em....)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 6
 5
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   14
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

James L - January 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Not a fan of football, but a big fan of the Drew Carey Show. I gave you all fives because I like the original tune
Old Comedywriter - February 26, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember going to a Phillies game at the Vet when it first opened. This sure brings back some Broad Street memories from way back...
Kerry Williams - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
From a diehard St. Louis Rams fan: The Cowboys do suck, and I love the way you express your hatred in this song. 555 all across the board, like a Warner-to-Torry Holt TD! Go Rams!
I'm Luvin' it - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes - Kerry, hatred is always a good thing. Yeah, right.
Angie - April 28, 2004 - Report this comment
From Angie in San Francisco: Thank God for Cowboy haters like you. I give this triple-fives, though I'd give it sixes if I could. Go 49ers!
Genius in Maine - September 13, 2004 - Report this comment
As a lifelong Cowboys hater, this was beautiful to read. The Cowboys lose 555-0!
Paul Cherry - July 19, 2006 - Report this comment
I WANT TO HEAR THE SONG
Cowboys Lose 555-0 - January 10, 2007 - Report this comment
No Dallas Cowboy player or fan should vote on this song (which explains the one vote for 1 in each category).
Becky Donoghue-Rick - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment
COWBOYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh and so do the Yankees :-P (O's fan here, although I do respect individual Yankee players)
ganJoe - July 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Man y'all only hate the Boys cause they got 5 Super Bowls, Too bad your weak team can't get none (unless u a 9ers or Steelers fan, tho I hate both teams). I don't get the cockiness of Eagles fans, y'all don't even have 1 championship. However I do hate the Yankess, so I understand the hate, if I wasn't raised in D-town, I'd prob hate em too. People always hate the best, hell I just started to hate the Patriots and Spurs.
berry - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
the guy who wrote this S.U.X.
Raymond - December 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Cowboys suck balls 4 life!
littleCupCakes - December 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Tom Landry, a salute to you Sir, in heaven above!
Max Power - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
I like their cheerleaders for perverted reasons.
Fritzburgh - October 05, 2008 - Report this comment
While I like any anti-Cowboys song, how could you not mention the Steelers?
cowboy - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
all ya'll suck!!
Redneck!! - November 16, 2015 - Report this comment
LOL loved it!!! I myself am a TEXANS fan and its pretty bad when DALLAS is suppose to be better then US TEXANS fans!!! Dallas 2-7 H -town 3-5 BETTER RECORD,BETTER TEAM!!!! we may not have the rings,but I loved the song!!! course DALLAS SUCKS!!!! too bad its not a ringtone, one of my friends is a crybabie fan.... GO TEXANS,PATRIOTS,AND COLTS!!!!

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