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Song Parodies -> "I Am Morman"

Original Song Title:

"I Am Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Helen Reddy

Parody Song Title:

"I Am Morman"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

I am Morman, I'm a bore,
My wives have numbers, I'm hardcore.
You should know how much my family does extend.
And you know I like to score,
With several wives or three or four.
No one seems to ever fully comprehend.

No stress, from my wives,
It's so wholesome not mundane.
Now, take my advice,
And look how well they're trained.
If they bad too, they then play second string.
It's my throng (throng),
They're so convincible (convincible),
I am Morman.

I'm their friend and they partake me,
There's more curves than I can shake, see?
There's a sermon to deceive they're every role.
I've been called an old whore monger,
For the women that I conquer,
'Cause it's just a deep addiction on the whole.

I am Morman, catch my show.
I got 'em standin' heel to toe.
I ignore all the common laws of this land.
It is just so apropos,
I've got wives that come and go,
It's like a dozen mothers on demand,

No stress, from my wives,
It's so wholesome not mundane.
Now, take my advice,
And look how well they're trained.
If they bad too, they then play second string.
It's my throng (throng),
They're so convincible (convincible),
I am Morman.

FADE
I am Morman,
They are convincible,
It's my throng,
I am Morman.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

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Gay Burrito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh joy. Another embarrassingly xenophobic parody from Guy DiRito.
Guy DiRito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Gotcha - Look before you leap. This says Morman not Mormon. I knew there would be a Moronic stab at this by someone out there. So Xenophobic does not apply here. And you can make fun of my name all day long, you are far from original since I have heard every conceivable variation on my name imaginable At least be original. Put something up there that I can at least laugh at. I rate your comment 1+1+1.
Gay Burrito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
So your excuse is that you can't spell Mormon? Brilliant.
Guy DiRito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
It's not an excuse - It's a fact that it was never meant to say 'Mormon'. You should invest in a copy of hooked on phonics for moronics. Just remember, you are the one that implied that this said something that it did not.
Spaff.com - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
As someone born a Utah Mormon, I'll just step in here and say that there's plenty of parody-worthy material both in Mormonism and in polygamy (which, for the record, has been banned by the Mormons for over 100 years). Guy can parody whatever he wants, and he makes an OK effort here. In my view, however, it's important to tread lightly when poking fun at deeply personal issues like religion, race, and orientation. To me, this particular parody, with phrases like "a sermon to deceive" and "an old whore monger" comes across more venomous than humorous, and leaves a bad aftertaste. Just my opinion, Guy.
Rice Cube - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Hmmm...not sure what to make of this. I guess the idea is pretty obvious, and Spaff says it best when Mormons (or any religious or political group) are ripe for parody, but I dunno about this one. I abstained from voting.
Guy DiRito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff - Point taken. It was not meant as such. This talks about those who have been found to be practicing polygamy and have been taken down by the court systems and made to pay for the crime of Polygamy. Thus the line about 'Laws of the Land" in the parody. Thus I call them Morman as to not tread on the religion as I know devout Mormons adhere stringhently to the letter of the law. I am sorry if I offended - it was not intentional. I will tame myself down. A true Mormon would never do what these guys do and I would doubt that most devout Mormons would not consider this Morman one of their own.
Claude Prez - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
If you look at it as a parody about a stereotype that exists, whether true or not, it's pretty funny. Since it's not personal to me and I'm pretty insensitive to other people's feelings I gave it fours. Oh, and changing one letter to avoid offending people probably won't work here; there are too many crappy spellers.
Spaff.com - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
I have dibs on "Man, I Feel Like a Mormon." :-)
Wild Man - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
I don't know which I enjoyed better, the parody or the comments. Personaly I thought it was funny, and yes a stereotype or generality made by the public. Is there anyone one out there that dosen't make stereotypical comments in our parodys?
Rice Cube - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
To Wild Man: Nope. I make fun of them Asian folk all the time ;-)
Hoeveel - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Can you get rice in cubes? Cos that would wrock.
Meriadoc - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Rice in cubes? But can it be diced and sliced? Good parody Guy. I took it as it was, a bit of poking fun, not at all mean-spirited. (And most of my friends are Mormons. And they only have one wife. Or husband ;-D ).
Billy Florio - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
lol..this reminds me of my parody to Shania Twains "That dont impress me much" called "That dont impress the dutch"...its the only group you can make fun of (the Pennsilvania Dutch aka Amish), since they are not allowed to own computers and cant read it...or enjoy life lol
Michael Pacholek - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Come on, babe, the Mormons make us laugh...and watch the Jazz! Just remember what our real patron saint, not Weird Al but Mel Brooks, likes to say: "The only real sin is not being funny. And good comedy is rarely politically correct."
Michael Pacholek - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Remember this one from "Cheers"? Rebecca: "Why can't more men send flowers?" Sam: "I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers. I know they can't dance." Cliff: "No, Sammy, that's the Baptists." Me: "No, Cliff, he's right. You ever see Utah Jazz fans celebrate a win? They can't dance! Please do NOT cue Phil Collins!"
Spaff.com - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Now wait a minute, Michael. Make fun of Mormons all you want, but watch what you say about the Jazz or you'll piss me off. Actually, I love that Mel Brooks quote. Kindly go back to my comment and replace the words "tread lightly" with "be exceptionally funny." But leave the rest of it intact. :-)
Guy DiRito - July 09, 2003 - Report this comment
Just so those that think they can get to me by using names like Gay Burrito or anything else, I have beat you all to the punch. I have parodied my own name before I ever started in on any group or person. http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/ironbutterfly0.shtml And thanks to all who are being good sports about this. This is parody. And the rest of you who think you can get to me in these comments, please be my guest and give me your best shot. Just don't go to a battle of wits unarmed.
Goiter Reetard - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Bring it on, eh? Battling wits with Guy DiRito is like dropping a Daisy Cutter on daisies. Just between you and me, do you think anyone bought the "Morman" thing?
Guy DiRito - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
Goiter Reetard? - Already heard this one, You're about 10 years late with this one. And just what was there to buy with "the Morman thing"? Was it on special or something? So did you notice there is one post missing out here today? Most likely it was yours. So what makes you better than anyone else with that trash you posted. I think you may be a bit slow. Tell me does it take you an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes? If you had any cojones you'd identify yourself or do you have something to hide?
Guide to Repo - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
So many questions, so few neurons. I don't know what you mean about a trashy post, but I'm sorry I missed it. And I don't think I'm "better than anyone else"--except you, but that hardly counts.
Guy DiRito - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
So what's the neuron count? The way you drone on I would estimate that you have about two functioning brain cells left and unfortunately they are arguing with each other. Tell me, how do you keep an idiot in suspence?
Y. Rug Idiot - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
(Anagram.) I was referring to your questions and neurons, but I didn't really expect you to catch that. To answer your second question--in my next post I'm going to tell you how to spell "suspense," so don't move...
Yid Got Uri - July 10, 2003 - Report this comment
As in Geller?
Guy DiRito - July 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah - You seem to have way more moves than Ex-lax. Did you get any on you? Soon the 'spit' will hit your plans.
Confused of Massechussettes - July 11, 2003 - Report this comment
You can spell 'spit' from 'Guy DiRito'?
Michael Pacholek - July 12, 2003 - Report this comment
There is no known way of keeping an idiot in "suspence." Except maybe in Britain or Canada. Here, we spell it "suspense." Actually, here, we spell it "I-T". But if you really wanna know how to do it, Guy will be happy to tell you next week.
Hoeveel - July 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Erm...i'm a Brit and i've never seen 'suspence' with a 'c'. There is a general rule of spelling as in 'licence' (noun) and 'to license' (verb), which you yanks seem to have dropped - along with all adverbs for someone unknown reason 0_o - but since 'suspense' is only a noun and the verb is 'to suspend', i don't think it applies.
Guy DiRito - July 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Better listen to 'em Mike. It's really their language, we just borrowed it. We as a nation do not even have an official language.
Mike Florio - July 17, 2003 - Report this comment
well back to the point that was swayed away from...good parody...
I wish I was Bob Geldof - September 04, 2004 - Report this comment
If you're going to do a parady about teasing mormans, you shoud have made it more funny!!!!!!!

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