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Song Parodies -> "I Am Baldwin"
Original Song Title:
"I Am Woman"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Helen Reddy
Parody Song Title:
"I Am Baldwin"
Parody Written by:
Stuart McArthur
The Lyrics
It's the year 2019 and Variety's "Baldwyn Guide" has ballooned out to 65 pages - one for every Baldwin. But dudes, if you thought Baldwin 26 was cool, the emerging Baldwin 44 says you've got another think coming................listen to the OS here
I am Baldwin 44
a Baldwin too big too ignore
and I'm gonna be the best darn Baldwin ye-et
You think YOU've seen me before
cuz I've got Baldwin 19's jaw
and I'm from the Baldwin/Basinger subset
Oh
yes, I look nice
I'm a Baldwin after all
If I'm otherwise
I've dropped the Baldwin ball
If I had to
I would have surgery
to be suave (suave)
supremely kissable (so kissable)
to be Baldwin
I am outdoors and indoorsy
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt adores me
Apple Paltrow wants to walk me down the aisle
But my brothers say I oughta
bonk a Spears sisters' daughter
to ensure our kids enhance that Baldwin smile
and
though it's unwise
I'm prepared to go that far
I'd pay any price
for photo-spreads in "Star"
If I had to, I would do anything
I am hot (hot)
I am ubiquitous (ubiquitous)
I am Baldwin
I'm the Baldwin they've most chosen
to do sitcom cameos, 'n
I've done two whisky commercials in Japa-an
but I'm still an embryo
with a long long way to go
to match Baldwin 11's Asian fans
and
yes I'm supportin'
Uncle Al's POTUS campaign!
It will take a Baldwin
to oust Pres-ident Palin
If we have to
we can do anything
We are strong! (strong)
We're procreational (creational)
We are Bawwwwwwl........dwins!
oh
we are Baldwin!
we are unstoppable!
we are everywhere!
we're in your K-Mart aisle!
we're hosting SNL!
we're doin' Larry King!
we're......
(okay, okay)
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | 22 | 22 | 22 |
User Comments
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Very funny -- and original -- idea, Stu, not to mention excellently executed.
I'm Baldwin-bawling with laughter!
Fantastic Stu !!! You are truely the celeb bashing champ here.
Great gags and speculations. Loved how "ubiquitous" just fell into the melody of the OS
Great gags and speculations. Loved how "ubiquitous" just fell into the melody of the OS
thanks Stan
thanks JAB :-)
thanks IB - yes, I should use "ubiquitous" more often - and btw submitting after such a long time is not like getting back on the bike - I had to relearn everything - comes with dementia I suppose :-(
thanks JAB :-)
thanks IB - yes, I should use "ubiquitous" more often - and btw submitting after such a long time is not like getting back on the bike - I had to relearn everything - comes with dementia I suppose :-(
Sir Stuart, ~Comander 0'Allied Forces DownUdder~ . . I prefer JackMan . . . I'll be seeing ~Austrailia~ on ThanksGiving Day! . . . hubba hubba, down unda ! !
thanks LadyCupCakes - ah, you mean the movie! - you had me fooled at first - and I suggest you save your hubba hubbas for the sudsy shower scene with Hugh ;-)
Fantastic work, Stu... your time away has only served to improve your vintage--rich complexity with hOaky overtones and a truly fine finish--likely good legs too (but I wouldn't know about *that*?!?)
ah thankyou TJC - it's good to get back into the swing, or back on the horse, or back into the celebrity-skewering - I love the smell of satire in the morning
Good to see you back Stu. I'll give ya more than 3 x 5s if you don't write about any more Baldwins. This was funny :)
Thanks Pippin......*hangs head* and okay, reluctantly I promise never to devote hours of my precious time to the Baldwin family again...:-(
General McArthur, Sir ! I prefer " C " Bros. over " B " Bros . . . anyday ! ! PS: you were correct about JackMan: He's no dud, in the suds ! ! My fav scene is after the rain, they head to the Hotel . . . W O W . . . He is one Awesome Aussie, Drover ! ! But Sir, why did I not see any chaps? ? Do they not use them, DownUdder ? ?
hmm, that's strange - because the Aussie cast of Priscilla Queen Of The Desert used chaps on a regular and satisfying basis
Sir, believe me, I do check for ~CHAPS~ . . . did NOT see a single pair in the whole 3-hour movie! I really enjoyed the cattle scenes and the wide open spaces of NewSouthWales & Bowen, Queensland. very nice movie! PS: I never learned in all my schooling what the japanese did to Austrailian people!! This attack was totally new to me, and my movie Buds! ! I must read up on WW-2 history, in the land DownUdder, Sir.
SOTM(NOV)
Stu - Great and accurate description of a family of actors. Their ability to act is only surpassed by their egos. Fine job - great lines.
Stu - Great and accurate description of a family of actors. Their ability to act is only surpassed by their egos. Fine job - great lines.
(SOTM) Stu, you climbed back onto that SOTM-saddle and rode that heifer to the end! 555
I so agree with Lord Agree, ~General McArthur, Allied Commander DownUdder~ is one awesome Aussie Bull Rider ! !
Good to see you back! The best list song since 99 Rubber Boobs. Brilliant job here, and best reason I've seen to bonk a Spears sister in quite some time!
LadyCupCakes - yes, it's been noted that for such a monumental event (first and only invasion of our shores other than by Europeans and canetoads) there has been little popular cultural reference to it
Thanks Guy - I thought they were ripe for a gripe
thanks Ag! that heifer was an effer
thanks Jeff - were they list songs? - and lol about the best reason, "quite some time" being the critical qualifier, because there once WAS a time when reasons weren't required, oh yes indeedy ...;-)
Thanks Guy - I thought they were ripe for a gripe
thanks Ag! that heifer was an effer
thanks Jeff - were they list songs? - and lol about the best reason, "quite some time" being the critical qualifier, because there once WAS a time when reasons weren't required, oh yes indeedy ...;-)
I guess they really weren't list songs, I got that term stuck in my head while I was leaving the comment (especially not 99 Rubber boobs). Lots of Baldwins, lots of comments on each of them, but not really a list. And...I concede your point made on Ms. Spears.
I didn't know a lot about the Baldwins, so this informed me a lot. You're the still the King of the Celebs.
What's a Baldwin? (I really need to keep up with popular culture...)
Sir MasonR, ~The Duke 0'Tumbling Mice~, b Baldwin was a piano, US-made in the 50's & 60's, which is still manufactured somewhere in the Orient, now. But in this case, GeneralMC refers to the ~B Brothers~ of acting fame: Alec married KimBasinger; the younger (3) are just losers. I prefer ~C Bros~ myself . . . The 3 Cowboys, gruff !
Not only will the Baldwins cover all aspects of America (apparently) in the future, this parody also covered all aspects of emotions when it took me from laughter to s***ting my pants in fear with the Baldwin vs Palin in 2020 hint of things to come.
Great use of the OS, Stu. Still as polished as ever. I'm starting to see references to other parodies of yours. It's all coming full-celeb-bashing-circle, isn't it?
(SOTM) I don't know anything about the Baldwins, except for the fact that they were blown up in the South Park movie. Don't know the OS either, so that's a double whammy. Oh well.
Crazy Baldwins, remember the incident involving...
This is very clever, but if it's only 2019 then wouldn't Uncle Al be Alec and since 44 is from the baldwin-basinger clan Alec would have to be either the father or the grandfather?
goddammit Ethan, you're absolutely correct - thanks for reading my parody even more closely than I did - never even thought to check
(SOTM) I don't know much about the Baldwins, but this was well written and to a song that I haven't read any parodies of.
Great stuff as usual Stu; some very clever rhymes and many LOL lines.
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