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Song Parodies -> "If Harry Chapin Wrote "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald""

Original Song Title:

"30,000 Pounds of Bananas"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:

"If Harry Chapin Wrote "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald""

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The original song, which Harry seriously embellished in concert, simulated here, was also about a real-life wreck, a truck crash in Scranton, Pennsylvania in 1965.
(Harry Chapin)
It was just after dark as the boat started out
the big lake the Chippewa call "Gitchee Gumee"
carrying 26,000 tons
ore of iron!
Yes, carrying 26,000 tons...
Hit it, Big John...

(John Wallace, Harry'sbass guitarist and bass singer)
Ore of iron!

(Harry)
The were a crew, seasoned.
On the autumn's final job
carrying the iron for steel production
for everyone in those Midwest cities
where children play without despair
in backyards, junk-strewn
and folks need for the winter..

About 26,000 pounds
ore of iron!
Yes, just about 26,000 pounds...
Scream it again, John...

(John)
Ore of iron!

They passed the waves they should've seen
going over the rail, a 50 mile-an-hour wind.
They were thinking perhaps about the warm-breathed women
who were waiting at the journey's end.
They started the 700-mile trip.
The wind did whip from the bow to the top of the stern.
They were pushing on through Superior's tides
and heading toward Whitefish Bay.
Just a few more miles to go.
And then at least they'd be able to wait
that nasty wind away
with all of their 26,000 tons
ore of iron!
Yes, all of their 26,000 tons
ore of iron!

Wind was picking up speed as the Mackinac Bridge's
twinkling lights were before them.
But they paid no heed as suppertime came
and it was too rough to feed them.
There was no way to slow the big ship down.
The wind in the wires made a tattletale sound.
They yelled, "Christ!"
It was funny how they had named
the only man who could save them now!
They were trapped inside a dead-end storm.
Climbing, riding on their beer-hunched backs
was every one of those reddish-black...

I'm tellin' ya!
26,000 tons
ore of iron!
Yes, there were 26,000 tons
ore of iron!

Well, they barely cleared a nasty wave
that led into a bigger one!
And got blasted by a west-bound wind
of 90 miles an hour!
And they said, "God, make it a dream!"
as the last wave crashed on down!
They said, "God, make it a dream!"
as the last wave crashed on down!

And it sideswiped 19 cargo crates
clipped off 13 radio wires
hit 2 smokestacks, splashed 8 decks
and drowned 29 people!
It was then way over their heads
as they flailed an arm or two
before they stopped...

And it sank for 400 yards
down to the silt at the bottom
of the lake called Gitchee Gumee...
all of those 26,000 tons...

ore of iron!

Now, seeing as how this is Amiright,
and I'm just the ghost of Harry Chapin,
and the way I became a ghost shows
that I'm not as fond of motor-vehicle wrecks
as the original song "30,000 Pounds of Bananas"
might make you think,
I'm not going to go through all four endings.
Besides, if I do, you'll say, for each ending, in perfect unison,
"Harry... !"

(everyone)
It sucks!

(Harry)
For those of you who came tonight, expecting to see a family show,
and are horrified by the use of the term "sucks... "

(Steve Chapin, Harry's brother and pianist)
Too goddamned bad, folks!

(Harry)
At least, don't be horrified by the use of the term "sucks,"
because, in this context, is has nothing, and I repeat nothing,
to do with a copulatory act performed
between two or more consenting adults.
It is basically a technically term that we in the music business use
usually in reference to that damn "Friday" song by Rebecca Black.

So I'm gonna give you just the one ending...

You know, the man who told me about it on the bus
as it went up the hill out of the mill town in Wisconsin...

He shrugged his shoulders, he shook his head, and he said...

And this is exactly what he said:

(the man on the bus)
Boy, it sure musta been somethin'.
Jest imagine:
26,000 tons ore of iron!
Yes there were 26,000 tons
ore of sunken iron!

(Harry)
Sing it with me!
(instruments build to a crescendo)
Ore of iron!
Ore of iron!
Ore of iron!
Ore of iron!
Ore of iron!
Ore of i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ron!
(instruments crash)

(Harry)
Well, all right!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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User Comments

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Patrick McWilliams - September 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Funny recreation of a Harry Chapin classic. Reminiscent of C. W. McCall's "Wolf Creek Pass" about a trucker with a load of chickens and no brakes. Like the description of all the stuff being washed overboard. My brother used to play the Chapin & McCall songs all the time. I haven't heard either in years. Brings back good memories.
AFW - September 21, 2011 - Report this comment
What Patrick said...unique parody
Jessica - October 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I miss Harry! I was listening to his songs on a road trip & googled "Harry, that sucks!". I was looking for a t-shirt & found your website instead. Bonus! Love funny & you made me laugh. Thanks!

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