A girl arrived just the other day.
She writes much better than the usual way.
And there were lies to catch from G.O.P. *1
She writes the kind of stuff I like to see.
And I was talkin' 'bout her stuff and before I knew
I said, "I'm giving fives to you, Cat.
You know I'm giving fives to you."

And the Cat's on the website and she's getting fives.
Little bit o' time she gives from her nine lives.
What's she gonna write next? I don't know what.
But I can't wait to see what's she's got, man.
I can't wait to see what she's got.

Well, she zinged Brad Pitt just the other day.
Suggested that with dirty magazines he'd play. *2
Can I teach you to write? I think, not today.
But if you can get as good as Cat, I'd say that's OK.
And she likes Ocasek, and he looks really grim.
She thinks, "Drop Paulina, I'll take him, yeah.
I hate Paulina, I like him." *3

And the Cat's on the website and she's getting fives.
Little bit o' time she gives from her nine lives.
What's she gonna write next? I don't know what.
But I can't wait to see what's she's got, man.
I can't wait to see what she's got.

Well, she made some kvetches just the other day.
So great with the Joel, I just had to say,
"Cat, I'm proud of you, I give it five turnstiles." *4
She shook her head, and she said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, Mike, is if you would now herald
my "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." *5

And the Cat's on the website and she's getting fives.
Little bit o' time she gives from her nine lives.
What's she gonna write next? I don't know what.
But her Bode Miller song hit the spot, man.
Her Bode Miller song hit the spot. (also *5)

(instrumental break)

Long day, and I'm tired, but I've gotta say
I gotta check Amiright every day.
I say I'd like to see her brand-new parody.
She said, "This stuff some do, I'd rather never see." *6

Well, she's never a hassle and her songs all ring true.
And it's sure nice writing 'bout you, Cat.
Yeah, it's sure nice writing 'bout you.

As as I step off the board it occurred to me:
Don't provoke Arwen's jealousy.
It's platonic between Cat and me.

And the Cat's on the website and she's getting fives.
Little bit o' time she gives from her nine lives.
What's she gonna write next? I don't know what.
But I can't wait to see what's she's got, man.
I can't wait to see what she's got.