Logging into the game
Trying my luck in another cheap online tournament
Hoping that I can play my way into the pinnacle event

Remember how I joined in every poker game
And I said 'That's the place for me'
And how I lost my job when I overslept from playing until three
I had two jacks and got another on the flop
So I pushed forward all my chips
But a heart came on the river card
And a lucky flush beat my trips

I wish that I was playing the WSOP
Watching as the cards are dealt to Phil and Chris and me
Wink at the audience that's watching on TV
Looking for another king, getting dealt a three

The thinking I do when I play a hand – it makes opponents sweat
They don't know if I am bluffing when I make a bet
So I wonder why I have never hit the big time and made it into the jet set
And I keep on winning local games and some on the Internet
But not the big one yet

I wish that I was playing the WSOP
Watching as the cards are dealt to Devilfish and me
I calculate the odds like I'm a PhD
Devastated when his hand gets the victory

I'm making extra money as a Wal*Mart greeter
Earning the tournament fee
And I'm always thinking 'bout my betting patterns
And working on my strategy
And there's a pot on the table right now,
Just waiting for a guy like me
And a television show that's gonna pay (me)
Dough I'm gonna spend like it was free

Sometimes I get this crazy dream
That I've won a fancy new car
And that I've travelled all around the world – a poker superstar
Getting my clothes straight from Armani,
I smoke Padron cigars
Everyone would point and say "hey, there goes the seven-card czar"

OK, reality
I know they're better than me
Even with a run of luck
The odds are against me, I'm just a poker schmuck

WSOP, WSOP, WSOP, WSOP

I wish that I was playing the WSOP
Watching as the cards are dealt to Doyle, Sam, and Deeb
I laugh at Howard's bluff, and raise a million three
Everybody's got a chance, even schmucks like me

I wish that I was playing the WSOP