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Song Parodies -> "This Cat Robbed The Cradle"

Original Song Title:

"Cat's In The Cradle"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:

"This Cat Robbed The Cradle"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

A child connived though he came to play,
This "man" of the world liked this usable prey.
He had trains and cash and thrills all day,
He yearned to fock these young boys that stay.
They came flockin' on up to it; they liked his zoo,
He'd say, I'm gonna sure like you, lad,
You know I'm gonna sure like you.

This cat robbed the cradle with his silver tune,
Little boys blew as he's walkin' the moon.
When we are alone, lad
We'll both pretend, that you and I both are ten,
Even though I'm four times ten.

Yes he thinks he's ten, trust me yes he's gay,
He said, you're such a doll lad, come spend the day.
Gonna breach ya real slow, when you come to stay,
It's all you got to do, it be child's play.
So if he walked this way when he's done gone limp,
That lad be walking gimp, yeah
You know he's gonna walk some gimp.

This cat robbed the cradle with his silver tune,
Little boys blew as he's walkin' the moon.
When we are alone, lad
We'll both pretend, that you and I both are ten,
Even though I'm four times ten.

So there's carnal knowledge, the judge should say,
We should slap this "man" right in jail today.
When the poundin's through they can't sit for a while,
I hope he's dread 'bout the thoughts of his trial.
Used to really like "Bad", this bizarro's so sleased,
Master baiter sets the trap with cheese.

This cat robbed the cradle with his silver tune,
Little boys blew as he's walkin' the moon.
When we are alone, lad
We'll both pretend, that you and I both are ten,
Even though I'm four times ten.

Some children he sired, not the normal way,
He toyed with one on that porch that day.
He said as a father he was really kind,
If he had dropped that lad, would this have been a crime?
You see, it's youth robbed and hustled to the kids that he do,
Now it's sure nice stalking is through, yeah
Roll the dice, we'll see how you do.

Soon he'll be strung up and prone, this turd you'll see,
He'll groan in cell block three,
A toy for cell block three.

This cat robbed the cradle with his silver tune,
Little boys blew as he's walkin' the moon.
When we are alone, lad
We'll both pretend, that you and I both are ten,
Even though I'm four times ten.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 2
 1
 
 5   25
 23
 24
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, that's funny and freaky at the same time. I really like it...it has substance to it...not just bad-mouthing. 5's
John Barry - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Outstanding freak critique.
alvin rhodes - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
best line...little boys blew as he's walkin' the moon....5s...nice job
Meriadoc - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Still a good job!
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
BEST damn "Jacko the pedophile" parody I have ever read on this site--loved the puns/close allusions to the original lyrics, and the allusions to Jackson's own career as a songwriter. 5's all round!
Stuart McArthur - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Fantastic and clever Guy. The judge should take his album titles as some kind of slow release confession ("Bad" then "Dangerous" then after being sprung: "History" or at least he hoped it was) - 555
Kristof Robertson - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent...probably the sharpest Jacko parody I've read! 555
Johnny D - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Cleverly creepy addition to the MJ-genre, Guy. Good job, 5's.
Dee Range - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Simply excellent, Guy. This bozo deserves the chair, gas chamber, lethal injection, and then a hanging at high noon. 5's
Peregrin - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You "Ben" readin' MJ's journal, Guy? Good stuff.
Adagio - November 02, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM Already voted. Good one.
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Stuart McArthur: You could also point out that "Billy Jean" probably wasn't his son since that's not the way he like/liked to sow his seed.
Stuart McArthur - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL K1 - clues everywhere if you want them
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - November 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Billy Jean is not my son... so at least it wasn't incest. Still a great parody!
Ash - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM... interesting parody, Guy.
Kristof Robertson - November 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant on the second read as well
Rick D - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm sick of the MJ parodies. Unless it's in the hands of a master, of course. Great.
Agrimorfee - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Wowzers, Guy. Pretty crude and satirical, worthy of Zappa at his most acidic. This is a high contender for Gold. 555
John Jenkins - November 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Guy. A lot of good lines, particularly the moon walking lines.
Melhi - November 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Now THIS is a scary Hallowe'en parody!!
Claude Prez - November 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yikes. Nice contrast to the original, and clever lyric matches as always. Well done.
Arwen - November 20, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--wow...this topic never fails to creep me out. Bleah. Nice choice of songs, though...=)
martha - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM very creepy lyric ..!!. but very appropriate ......what a creepy guy.....what on earth happened to him????
Stuart McArthur - November 23, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) still admire the "4 times 10" bit, Guy
Johnny D - November 25, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Peregrin - November 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Very very good work Guy, top three finish!
Dee Range - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM ... highly excellent...see above vote and comment :-)
Spaff.com - November 28, 2004 - Report this comment
"Little boys blew." Heh heh.
2nz - November 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Very original take on the song, highly disturbing and witty.
Meriadoc - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Jeff Reuben - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job Guy!
Paul Robinson - November 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - Creepily superb...5's

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