A child was born on Lake Erie's shore.
He came into a world that had lots in store.
And there were books to read and games to play.
Civil War came and he went away.
And he's a General 'fore he knew it, and don't you see
he said, "I'm making history, yeah.
You know I'll make history."

But the cat's what you think of when you hear the name.
Orange ball of fur, and that's a real damn shame.
When you comin' home, Jim? "I don't know when
but we'll get together then.
We're gonna have a good time then."

Well, he marched on home just the other day.
Ohio had a new role for Jim to play.
"Can you launch a campaign?" He said, "That's okay
and they'll remember me well on some future day."
And he went to Congress and his smile never dimmed.
He said, "Washington, I'll be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

But the cat's what you think of when you hear the name.
Tubby ball of fur, and that's a real damn shame.
When you comin' home, Jim? "I don't know when
but we'll get together then.
We're gonna have a good time then."

He won he a close race on Election Day.
And the new President, he just had to say,
"I'm proud of myself, the dream is now revealed:
I'm President James Abram Garfield.
What I'd really like, folks, is to read the histories
and see my name in them, if you please."

But the cat's what you think of when you hear the name.
Lazy ball of fur, and that's a real damn shame.
When you comin' home, Jim? "I don't know when
but we'll get together then, yeah.
We're gonna have a good time then."

Well, a crazy man blew Garfield away.
Too hot in D.C., they took him away.
Thought the Jersey shore would give him a better clime.
He said, "I wish it could, but I am out of time.
You see, the X-ray's not invented, docs don't have a clue.
And I guess my adventure is through, boys.
Yeah, I guess my adventure is through."

And as I closed up the book it occurred to me:
The comic strip is what we
think of instead of he.

And the cat's what you think of when you hear the name.
That's the wrong Garfield, that's a real damn shame.
In a marble tomb out in east Cleveland
they laid Jim to rest back then, yeah.
And rarely thought of him again.