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Song Parodies -> "W-T-P"

Original Song Title:

"W-O-L-D"

Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:

"W-T-P"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

It's 2008, five years from now, 63 years since the last Pennant, a century since the last World Series win, and this guy still gets Cubs fans' goat -- is there a place on this planet where he can hide?
Hello, honey, it's me!
What did you think when you saw me there on the TV screen?
What did the kids say when they knew
the Cubs fans had treated me so mean?

Remember Jack Brickhouse on the radio
and I said, "That's the place to be."
And how I caught an Andre Dawson home run ball
when you said you'd marry me?
It was two kids and we were watching Sammy rock
but I just had to go confound.
It's been five years since I left ya, babe
since I made the poor Cubs go down.

I am hidden far away in the old WTP
in the Witness Protection Program set up for me.
The stupid Cubbie fan, recalled but never seen.
Haven't won since '45, and the times are lean.

The drinking they did at the bar that night still left fans so low.
They said that they had a young team, through October they'd go.
But I drifted on down to Tulsa, Oklahoma, and watched me a Triple-A show.
But they'll never let me back in the town on the lake called Chicago.
That's how this business goes.

I am hidden far away in the old WTP
in the Witness Protection Program set up for me.
The stupid Cubbie fan, recalled but never seen.
Haven't won since '45, and the times are lean.

I've been making extra money coaching high school football
yelling at the referee.
You should hear me talking to the little children
they're too young to remember me.
I got a spot on the top of my head, in the shape of a big bullseye.
There's a fire in my gut from them searching for my butt
they ain't never gonna go away.

Sometimes I get this crazy dream that the Cubs will finally go far.
But I've been traveling on ten thousand miles, born under a faulty star.
I've been thinking that I should stop this hiding and face what they've got in store.
Or maybe I'd be better off if you'd join me at the shore.

OK, honey, I see. You like Mark Prior, not me.
Sure, old girl, I understand.
You don't have to worry, I'm a safety-minded man.
(In WTP, In WTP, In WTP, In WTP!)

I am hidden far away in the old WTP
in the Witness Protection Program set up for me.
The stupid Cubbie fan, recalled but never seen.
Haven't won since '45, and the times are lean.

I am hidden far away in the old WTP!
In WTP!
In WTP!
In WTP!
(repeat 'til fade)


His only consolation: Ralph Branca and Bill Buckner are still alive, and no one's tried to kill them.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Guy - October 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Interesting glimpse into a possible future.
John Jenkins - October 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Good parody, Michael - the "forty five" from the original certainly works in the parody. But what does WTP stand for?
Michael Pacholek - October 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoops! Terrible Pacing! I saw the word "Witness" and got "WT" from that. HUGE goof. Of course, when the subject is the Chicago Cubs, the words "huge goof" are relative. Are they ever.

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