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Song Parodies -> "American Warthog"

Original Song Title:

"American Woman"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Guess Who

Parody Song Title:

"American Warthog"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

Back by popular demand, the Burton Cummings "Guess Who" antijihad trilogy -- "American Warthog", "No Jihad Tonight" and "These Flies" The song "No Jihad Tonight" was my first submission to Amiright, but I will repost it here because "These Flies" plays off of it. Some definitions: 30 Mike -- 30mm cannon; UAV -- Unmanned Aerial Vehicle or Air Force drone
American Warthog gonna mess your cave
American Warthog gonna mess your cave
Ooooh, American Warthog gonna mess ... your ... cave
I said A ... said M ... said E .... said R
I said I ... and C ... said A ... and N
American Warthog gonna mess your cave
Mmmmm, American Warthog gonna mess your cave
Uggnh, American Warthog gonna mess. Your. Cave ......

AMERICAN WARTHOG! ..... Stay away from ME!
American Warthog .... Wallahi, let me be
Don't come strafing around my door
Don't wanna hear your engines roar
I got more important things to do
Than have my body vaporized by you
Now Warthog, I said stay away
American Warthog, listen what I say

American Warthog, get away from me
American Warthog, wallahi let me be
Don't come buzzing around my door
Don't wanna see you shadow no more
Strafing runs can traumatize
Horror in a young martyr's eyes
Now Warthog, I said go away
American Warthog, listen what I say

American Warthog, said get away
American Warthog, listen what I say
Don't come strafing around my door
Don't want to hear your cannon roar
I don't need your Thirty Mike
I don't need your J-Dam strike
Bombing runs can traumatize
Horror in a young martyr's eyes
Now Warthog, I said get away
American Warthog, listen what I say

Oh, cannot get away, get away, now no, no,no
I'm gonna leave now, Warthog
Gonna leave this world now
Bye-bye, Bye-bye, Bye-bye, Bye-bye
You're no good for me, I'm no good for you
Going up to the Virgins in the sky
Tell you what I'm gonna do
You know I'm gonna bow, You know I'm gonna pray
You know I'm gonna bow, You know I'm gonna pray
Gonna leave now, Warthog
Do it, American Warthog

(I've done "No Jihad Tonight" before, but seeing as how it was well received the first time and also sets up the last song ..)

Paranoid feeling, deep inside
Find a cave, where I can hide
Silent Predator, stalking me
Sudden brightness, but I can't SEE!
No jihad tonight for Awlaki
No jihad tonight for Aziz
No jihad plans for Zarqawi
No jihad fun for me
Dat'n do dow dow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do dow dow, No! No!
Dat'n do dow dow, dadn't do dow
Dat'n do dow doww!

Plotting violence, in his mind
Culture's lagging, far behind
Faith in Allah, blinds his eyes
Now he's sailing, through the SKIES!
No jihad tonight for Awlaki
No jihad tonight for Aziz
No jihad plans for Zarqawi
No jihad fun for me
Dat'n do dow dow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do dow dow, No! No!
Dat'n do dow dow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do dow doww!

(Cue change of pace musical interlude and segue into ...)

Ahmed says "chill" but I don't believe him
When we talk about our ops today
He doesn't have the brains or guts to lead us
And he's gonna lead us all astray
I'm tripping out now in the cave I live in
I fear that things aren't going well
I sense things are wrong and it won't be long
Before things are all blown to hell
Cause it's the new model UAV banking over
It's the new Hellfire missile come to call
It's the new model UAV flying over
She's getting us all; she's getting us all

Ahmed said "Duck" when it came back this time
Looks like things are near the end
No use wailing about the vapor trail
It's clear we're ratted by a friend
A smoke filled cave in the Hindu Kush
The situation wasn't right
A deafening roar and a flash of light
We're headed to the Virgins tonight
Cause it's the new model UAV banking over
It's the new splendid missile come to call
It's the new model UAV taking over
She's getting us all; she's getting us all

Dat'n do dow dow, dan't do dow
Dat'n do dow dow, No! No!
Dat'n do dow dow, dat'n do dow
Dat'n do dow doww!!

(And the final song of the trilogy -- "These Flies")

These flies
Buzzed my corpse all night for you
This swarm
Could not protect me .. from the blast
The hurtin's on me, but eternal shame is on thee, my jihadi
You vowed to keep secrecy
You spoke it, you spoke it (Oh no!)

These flies
Watched drones bring my world .. to an end
This swarm
Saw my carcass bloat .. and distend
The Virgin's with me, but ALLAH's wrath is on thee, Oh Mujahid
You vowed the silence with me
But they broke you, they broke you (Wallah)

These flies ... are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you (Allahu Ack!)
These flies ... are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
Like the kind that was done by you (Allahu Ack!)
These flies ... ARE SWARMING!
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen treachery
like the kind that was done by you

These flies
Buzzed my corpse all night for you
This swarm
Could not protect .. protect me from the blast. (HA!)

These flies ... are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen a treachery
Like the one that was done by you ((Allahu Ack))
These flies ... are swarming
These flies have seen a lot of death but they've never seen a treachery
Like the one that was done by you (Allahu Ack)
These flies ... ARE SWARMING!
These flies have seen a lot of death ........

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   8
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User Comments

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Randy Hearn - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Boy, you sure did it! Excellent!!
Callmelennie - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
For those Amiright readers still young enough to bear or sire offspring, the OS to "These Flies" is "These Eyes", one of the cheesiest songs of that or any other era
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Nicely done-555! The A-10 was loosely based on a German WW2 concept aircraft, the Junkers Ground-Attack Aircraft: http://www.luft46.com/junkers/jugap.html And the rival Il-102 was one if the ugliest aircraft of all times: http://typesofplanes.com/img/img-airplanes/336/Ilyushin_Il-102.jpg Thank God that the Soviets ultimately went for the Su-25 that fought in Afghanistan: http://www.airforce-technology.com/projects/su25/images/su25_1.jpg
Patrick - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
There used to be a squadron of A-10's based in Kansas City. The cannon alone is bigger than a compact car. Very impressive performance at air show. Wish I could see (from a safe distance) how the cannon worked.
Porfle Popnecker - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Burton Cummings would roll over in his grave if he was dead!
Callmelennie - March 28, 2012 - Report this comment
HA! I'm "Laughing" at that. But seriously, Porf, when I was a Senior in high school the group I hung basicaly listened to two albums "Who's Next" by the "Who" and "The Guess Who's Greatest Hits" Must have heard them both 10,000 times. And seeing as how I loved the first and hated the second, I've been waiting 40 years to exact my revenge. You say the undead Burton Cummings is spinning in a notional grave over this -- GOOD! :D

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