So you suffer from insomnia
And you want a handy cure
Just go rent Dr Zhivago
For a nap
It's a least two hundred minutes
It's a tough flick to endure
Just go rent Dr. Zhivago
It's a boring piece of crap

You can gaze at snow
Eyes all glazed at snow
You'll really
Hate the theme song

Revolutions, sappy romance
The old U.S.S.R.
When you watch Dr. Zhivago's
"Epic" tale
Plot that needs "esplainin'"
And just what the heck's a "Tzar"?
When I watched Dr. Zhivago
Wished the trains would all derail

You will hate this film (Yes, you will loathe this film)
You'll berate this film (One-star rate this film)
It's dying (Just like old Omar Sharif)
You're crying (Even has Julie Christie)
It's dying (Rubber nose Alec Guinness)
You're crying (Big long hist'ry lesson, who needs it?)
Boy is this a bore!

Borrowed from the library
Can't wait to take it back
I don't want Dr. Zhivago
On my street
Gonna try and hide it
In the bottom of the stack
Or I'll take Dr. Zhivago
Out and use it for a skeet

You will hate this film (Yes, you will loathe this film)
You'll berate this film (One-star rate this film)
It's dying (Wish you could shoot the Sharif)
You're crying (Even has Julie Christie)
It's dying (Rubber nose Alec Guinness)
You're crying (Big long hist'ry lesson, who needs it?)
Boy is this a bore!