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Song Parodies -> "The Regrets of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Regrets of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Every now and then, I get a little bit flustered by someone telling me I shouldn't write parodies of a song about a real-life tragedy. Maybe this is my comeuppance. You know how sometimes eating pizza late at night is a bad idea?
The legend lives on from the Pizza Hut on down
of the food that gave me a grim nightmare.
The delicious kind went straight into my mind
and it placed a terrible image right there.

With a load of mushroom, took it back to my room
because late at night, my stomach's empty.
That pizza, I knew, was a snack to be chewed.
But it's fate and not hunger I'm tempting.

The dream's not the pride of my troubled insides
coming out of a store out in Sayreville.
I didn't sleep well, and now I sure can tell:
It's so scary, it might leave you prayerful!

Concluding my snack with a variety pack
of the breadsticks with cinnamon dipping.
But soon, you should know, to my head it did go.
Worse than any drug, it left me tripping.

I tossed and I turned, and I painfully learned
that this combo left my gut imperiled.
And at 2 AM, I heard voices, "Ahem!"
'Twas the crew of the Edmund Fitzgerald!

"These songs you write, Mike, something we do not like,"
said the ship's captain, Ernest McSorley.
"To our memories, it's not something to please.
It's left us feeling troubled and poorly."

When the next speaker came, the old cook came on deck
saying, "Mike, the truth's now an arriver.
I was sick that sad trip, and did not make the slip.
Look it up: I'm the only survivor!"

The crewmates wired in and it made such a din
that I should not be parody herald.
But how can I stop writing ideas that pop
in my head based on "Edmund Fitzgerald"?

Does anyone know know how those 29 souls
got into my room? Was it the pizza?
My doctor did say that it's sure not the way
to give my subconscious double-feature.

I might have gave up or I might have downsized
on my snack or washed it down with water.
And all that remains is the terrible pains
brought by old ship and crew, how I caught 'er.

My twisted form rolls and it takes such a toll
worse than any on Turnpike or Parkway.
Keep eating that stuff, and I'll have nights so rough
and my dreams will come in such a dark way.

But onto the site that we call Amiright
they take in parodies that I send in.
But "Eddie Fitz" songs may just be kinda wrong.
Is this rule that I soon will be bendin'?

In a musty old hall in East Brunswick I squirmed
from a late meal that left me so fearful.
My blood sugar dives for the 29 lives
that were lost on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

The legend lives on from my bedroom on down
how tonight, I will go to bed starvin'.
I won't be a dope, so I guess I can hope
to dream of something nicer, like Arwen.
Do NOT try this at home, kids... Not even the pandering at the end... I am not a professional, but I am the closest thing we have to it.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 16
 16
 
 2   2
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   17
 8
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Bernard Pacholek - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Serves ya right, little brother. Try some anchovies next time.
Olaf - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
These are very humor parodies, Mr. Pakolek. Do peoples truthly tell you not to write them? I am liking too the last line. To thine own's elf be true!
TJC - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Clearly, Michael, Screaming Gor Lightfoot has put a Spell On You! Fives for mental toughness / tenacity alone!
alvin - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
great concept...i was wondering when they were gonna fight back
stuart mcarthur - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
killer last line MP - love the autobiographical stuff with a twist - a pizza and a half-finished WOTEF parody must be your idea of heaven - 555
Kristof Robertson - May 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Wonderful stuff from the captain of eddie Fitz. 555
Darrell Wilhelm - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael, if the men who died on the Edmund Fitzgerald were able to see this parody, they would reduce you to a bloody pulp.
Michael Pacholek - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Darrell, if the men who died on that boat were able to see this parody, they wouldn't be able to do much about it, because they're dead. I hate it when people make an argument that contains its own contradiction. Come to think of it, I liked your argument better when I MADE IT MYSELF IN THE PARODY! That was the whole point! Pay attention, will ya? Stuart: Actually, considering misadventures like this, pizza would NOT be part of my idea of heaven. But a "Philadelphia Cheesesteak" (shameless parody plug) and a half-dressed subject of one of my parodies (several would qualify) wouldn't be far off.
malcolm higgins - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
tasty idea.. who the hell did you piss off with your "1" parade of votes recently? I wish people would vote on content and not pick up on their own idea of "what is funny only to them" I liked it
Donna W - September 19, 2008 - Report this comment
I love the parody. I feel a bit guilty over laughing about it, considering that lives were lost. But a friend once told me that if you can't laugh about something like that, how can you be serious about it? I wonder what the crew and their surviving friends and families, or for that matter, Gordon Lightfoot really would think about the parodies. Hopefully, they would all see them as just a little good fun.

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