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Song Parodies -> "The Wrecks On My Deadened Toshiba"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Wrecks On My Deadened Toshiba"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Partially inspired by "The Dreck Called American Idol" by A Room Full of Monkeys, but, sadly, that's hardly the only source. "Black Rock" is the CBS headquarters at 51 W. 52nd Street. "Rockefeller Center" is between 49th & 50th Streets and 5th & 6th Avenues, that's NBC. Fox's HQ is nearby, while ABC's is at 66th & Broadway.
The legend lives on from Bruce in Freehold town
of the channels, he counts fifty-seven.
And still nothing's on, programmers' taste is gone.
And if ignorance is bliss, they're in heaven!

With a load of bullcrap onto our screens they slap
really stupid shows from their producers.
Reality, it seems, is not stuff of my dreams.
I can walk outside to see me some losers!

These schemes are the pride of Manhattan's East Side
in Black Rock and in Rockefeller Center.
They think we're all dopes as the write opera soaps
with some evil twins of both the genders!

And Fox, they're so shrill with the "King of the Hill"
and "The Simpsons," not so analytical.
And, please, boys, no more of that sick "24!"
I'd almost prefer your stuff political!
(Well, almost.)

To escape from this mess, I try old PBS
but what they've got is repeat of "NOVA."
It felt like I'm drugged, and now I'm feeling bugged
'cause their "Nature" show on ants ain't ovah!

So cable I try, but I gave a great cry,
"Can't watch YES, 'cause this ain't baseball season!"
Try ESPN, but there's poker again!
Why no real sports, guys, what is the reason?

Don't like current news, but there's History's views
but again I can't make myself sit there.
Once again I must view old stuff from World War II.
Like I care about drugs used by Hitler!

Even on TV Land, the programming is bland.
Dick Van Dyke's not what I want on dial.
And oh, woe is me, when I watch Court TV
feels like I'm the one who is on trial!

I switch back to Fox, am I dumb as an ox?
There's the rantings of old Simon Cowell.
Some fat kid, he sings that bad song, "Broken Wings."
Even Paula Abdul has to howl!

But sometimes he's right, and we're sharing his plight.
The songs sound like they come from the sewers.
And all that remains is the faces and names
of the poor unsuspecting show viewers!

"Lake House" on FX, inferior flicks
like that three-hour tour of "Titanic."
Seems it never ends, and it might make more sense
if I watched it on channel Hispanic!

And farther below, on HBO
there's old Tony Soprano a-whacking.
And some say this show is a great way to go
but some common sense is very lacking!

In a musty old room in New Jersey I gloom
over bad sitcoms and badder divas.
My remote control whines, it clicks eighty-nine times
for the wrecks on my deadened Toshiba!

The legend lives on of the ratings gone down
and the big clicks those from wretches to me.
Superior, I've said, they are not, use your head.
Keep on watching and you'll feel quite gloomy!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 2.5
Overall Rating: 2.5

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 15
 15
 
 2   0
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 3   2
 0
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 4   10
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 5   11
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
title of the day
2Eagle - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Well.....you can always get DVD's of M*A*S*H, All in the Family, Newhart and all those shows from the days when TV was good.
John Barry - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
Newton Minow was right.
Stuart McArthur - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
you are a parody machine, MP - and nailing all those internal rhymes like the WOTEF master you are ( I still haven't achieved one parody to this OS) - 555
Michael Pacholek - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
"I'm Wrecked By Lust For Angelina." Try that one, Stu.
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Hitler was sooooo ahead of his time, using methamphetamine! ... Was expecting this one to be about a fried computer, which TT's own Toshiba was a while back, but this was a real masterpiece, and a suitable sequel to John Barry's "Vast Wasteland" series, which he was too modest to mention in his comment: www.amiright.com/parody/misc/tseliot1.shtml, et seq. (several daily follow-ups).
555+, Michael.

oh, and there's the spinoff of JAB's series, "TV, Or Not TV", mentioned due to lack of modesty: cough www.amiright.com/parody/misc/williamshakespearehamlet0.shtml cough

Stuart McArthur: "Erection For Stuart: Levitra".
smartaleck - February 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Excelleny! Rhynmed Hispanic and Titanic! and caught the frustration well. Best TV parody since 'The Ratings (are the hardest part)"
TT - February 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Stuart McArthur, please disregard the above suggestion. I just did it (not about you, of course.)

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