-> "The Arresting of Edmund Fitzgerald"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Arresting of Edmund Fitzgerald"
The legend lives on from the Island on down
that's the one that we all know as Riker's.
Our subject, it's said, he wishes he were dead
'fore he becomes the boy-toy of bikers.
With a load of good coke, twenty-six hundred tons broke
from the airport that's known as LaGuardia.
He would take it back and turn it all to crack
for the strung-out, hip-hopping big partiers!
The dude was the pride of the Lower East Side
he'd succeeded beyond mere subsistence.
Got out of his rut in old Connecticut
his drug sales brought a better existence.
Concluding some deals, then he's copping some feels
with the girlfriends of gangsta Jamaican.
But Edmund discerned, rubber, it must be burned
before Rastaman knows he's been taken.
The Feds hoped a wire made a tattletale sound
when into Ed's camp they sent a rookie.
And every man knew, as the young men did, too
Ed's one weakness was his need for nookie.
Well, Dawn, she came late, Edmund hated to wait
so this chick named Denise came a-knockin'.
She asked would he show, to get new kind of blow
so she saw the stuff where it was stockin'.
The agent wired in to get backup sent in
'cause it looked like she might be in peril.
And "Freeze!" was the cry from the old FBI
for the arresting of Edmund Fitzgerald.
Does anyone know where acquittal's chance goes
when the prosecution lasts for four months?
And sealing his doom, his foes filled the vacuum
so his operation wasn't dormant.
He now has realized that his dream has capsized
since he's now having just bread and water.
And all that is spent is big bucks from pa-rents
getting rehab for sons and for daughters.
On Illinois sands, there Joliet stands
with the worst that Chicago can offer.
And Jackson State's noise of Detroit's baddest boys
are paid by Michigan's big tax coffers.
Maricopa breaks men while San Quentin sings
to old Johnny Cash, he's well-remembered.
And though it is closed, Alcatraz we still know
home to guys who left their foes dismembered.
On the musty old grounds out on Long Island Sound
every man knows his life is in peril.
So, friends, I consult, you don't want the result
of the ex-kingpin Edmund Fitzgerald!
The legend lives on from the Bureau on down
of the Agent who did splendid duty.
We knew we could trust her to have great big bust
of a guy who now guards his own booty!
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|How Funny: ||4.2|
|Overall Rating: ||4.2|
|Total Votes: ||16|
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