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Song Parodies -> "The Wreck Of The Latest Royal Wedding"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Latest Royal Wedding"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

The British public are rubbing their hands with glee with the news that Charles and Camilla are getting hitched...in a town hall Registry Office! Remembering some of the weddings I've been to in such establishments, this is how I imagine it might turn out....
The legend lives on (thanks to old Elton John)
Of Diana, princess and sweet maiden
But years have passed by: it's Camilla, not Di
Whose betrothal we'll be celebratin'

Chuck took her aside; “Cammy, please be my bride
If we're wed, mum's demeanour will soften
Our union she'll bless, and she will not care less
That we've been ‘round the block once too often”

An April date setWindsor Castle? You bet!
But a legal loophole made things sticky
It's a slipp'ry slope, coz they can't just elope
She ain't Rizzo and he's no Kenickie.

So Town Hall was booked; Charlie's goose, surely cooked
Lizzie's gonna have heart palpitations!
It's no palace, sure: but they say “less is more”
We'll just have to tone down celebrations

A two o'clock show- parking behind Tesco*
With a glass of Buck's Fizz on arrival
You'll get to sit down to the sweet reggae sounds
Of The Windsor Bob Marley Revival!!

The cerem'nys done, it's all off to “Lo Fun”
Berkshire's premiere Chinese-ish eatery
Don't sit next to Phil; foreign food makes him ill
And he tells “slant-eye” jokes indiscretely

As guests chew won ton, the conver-sa-ti-on
Takes the form of a blow-by-blow replay
How Charles looked so cute in his powder blue suit
And why Cam purchased her dress on Ebay

A quarter to nine, now it's reception time
At “The Bronx Club”; be late at your peril
There's dancing all night, an occasional fight
And a lounge act named Edmund Fitzgerald

Ed's been on the phone asking celebs to come
There's a Spice Girl or two, Bjork and Robbie
Now William's quite drunk, Harry's acting a punk
Selling cut-price cocaine in the lobby

The best man Andy, who is fairly handy
(On the microphone, he ain't no failure)
Proposes a toast, and ol' Charles he does roast
‘Bout that half naked chick in Australia

Phil's had to much beer, and he's acting real queer
Calling Nelson Mandela an arseh'le
Anne's going for broke with a rough looking bloke
Who's a plumber just down from Newcastle

Camilla's in tears coz that slut Britney Spears
Has been fondling Charlie's Royal Truncheon
Harry's off his head; to the castle he's fled
For a knees-up orgy in the dungeon

The bouquet gets thrown; Andy goes home alone
Coz his efforts at pulling, pathetic
In taxi back seat William's upchucked a treat
From too much tequil-anaesthetic

When legends get broke, British folks have a joke
Coz they all realise what they're getting
When Titanic sank, it was not (let's be frank)
Like the Wreck Of The Latest Royal Wedding!
*Tesco- major UK supermarket chain

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 3
 2
 
 5   33
 32
 33
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Parodies don't get much better than this. Fabulous lines everywhere, Kristof. Super sized fives.
Guy - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm surprised that Phil didn't beat you to this. This is as good as any parody on Eddie Fitz gets. Clever word play and great pacing. And yes it probably will go something like this when it happens.
Kristof Robertson - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks guys! Dee: where ya been? thanxs for checking this out......Guy: Aw shucks!! What a nice thing to say; cheers! Eddie Fitz seems to be one of the Amiright Holy Grails, so I knew that I had to have a crack at it. And when this story surfaced...like shooting fish in a barrel!!
John Barry - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Royally superb!
alvin rhodes - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
brilliant work on this one...wow...5s
Royce Miller - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
there's something about this song that gives rise to really funny parodies, and this is one of them
Phil (not the Greek) Alexander - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
ROFL! SOTM territory if ever there was... thanks for the thought, Guy, but I'd not even considered a Royal Wedding II parody as yet. Come to think of it, I've not really had much parody-writing time at all recently. Oh, and this is worth a look-see: http://www.geekgifts.co.uk/camilla2.jpg
John Jenkins - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
This is the stuff legends are made out of. Excellent job, Kristof, of scooping the tabloids with this report.
Scathe - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Dude, what a party. 5's man.
Adam Eccleshall - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
This rules. Which is more than Charles will ever manage ;-)
Michael Pacholek - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
As the King of "Edmund Fitzgerald" Parodies (which carries more power than a prospective King Charles III would ever have), let me say... Does anyone know where hilarity goes when to write up this song will take hours? But I will not scoff, for you have pulled it off, this song is so funny it towers!
Kristof Robertson - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Mr Barry: Arise, sir John!.....Alvin: Cheers my friend......Royce: I could write an essay on why this song is great to parody; but not tonight:-) Thanx!....Phil: Checked out your link; hilarious! Thanks for the support, mate!.....John J: I've always thought I was a legend in my own lunchtime! :-)....Scathe: I'm sure you'll get an invite!....Adam: No dukedom for you, my son! :-)....Cheers all!
Kristof Robertson - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
To Mike: It's really something to get praise from the king, so Your Highness I thank you sincerely. But since I'm quite sloshed, it's no use acting posh, so I reckon I'll just thank you beer-ly!! :-)
Adagio - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
This is some fun parody...and getting married at the town hall Registry Office!! What a come-down for a 'prince'. 5's
Steve K. - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Somewhere, Edward the 8th and Wallis Simpson are looking down (or maybe looking up) and having a good laugh.
Stuart McArthur - February 21, 2005 - Report this comment
flawless Kristof - big effort this - of many, I nominate the following special lines "tequil-anaesthetic" "She ain’t Rizzo and he’s no Kenickie" "lounge act named Edmund Fitzgerald" - but poor Phil comes off the worst - LOL - 555
AFW - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This is truly great! and long enough to be termed a Parodython...5's
Kristof Robertson - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Adagio: They're saying now that it might not be legal; oops!......Steve: I'm sure it would be looking down.....Stu: Thanks for taking the time, dude- it's a LONG parody!.....AFW: see last comment; thanks!
Michael Pacholek - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Acting so posh? Considering she just gave her soccer boy baby number three, that may not be a good idea. (See "J-Lo Again, Naturally")
Arwen - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
KR...I know I'm a day late, but this one will last through the ages. Absolutely PERFECT, sweetheart...=)
2nz - February 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Status: Endurance Trial Completed
....actually, you kicked the endurance trial's ass, royally. Excellent, Kristof.
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Back then I had a loose idea about writing a wedding song for Chucky and the bride of Chucky. I bailed out then, but if any of you guys ever should make the "mistake" to publicly annouce that you legal status from immoral filthy sexobsessed dirtbag to blessed by God sexobsessed filthy dirtbag then...
Know 1 can hear you dream - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Back then I had a loose idea about writing a wedding song for Chucky and the bride of Chucky. I bailed out, but if any of you guys ever should make the "mistake" to publicly annouce that you are about to change your legal status from immoral filthy sexobsessed dirtbag to blessed by God sexobsessed filthy dirtbag then...
2Eagle - February 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hear, hear!!! Wouldn't it blow your mind if that dress Camilla got on E bay was one of Diana's? However, she would have a devil of a time strapping herself to get into it.
Guy - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above comments.
Charlie Decker - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, I'm ashamed to say. But it was very funny, and I trust you on the pacing, so 555. I'll have to go download this song ASAP...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Truly hilarious, too many LOL moments to document. 555
Scathe - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) Still hungover from the first reading. :-)
Spaff.com - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow. Love it love it love it. I agree with virtually every comment. Except k1chyd's second comment. I agree with his first, but not his second. I'm not much of a royals watcher, either - I know you've got that queen whatsername, and that prince who married Diana, and Victoria who married that soccer player, and Tony Blair, but that's about the extent of my knowledge of the royal family. But I still love this parody. That's how great it is.
Johnny D - March 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) "She ain’t Rizzo and he’s no Kenickie" ... there's something intriguingly disturbing about THAT line, for sure!
Rex - March 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, you've certainly knocked Chuck down to the ground. Get it? Ground Chuck? Heh heh. Heh... never mind.
Jeff Reuben - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent! see jake's above comments =)
Arwen - March 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--still brilliant, Kristof. Just absolutely FABulous!
Stuart McArthur - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
sotm - yeah, yeah, fantastic as usual Kristof (yawn) - write something flawed and show us you're human!! - if a parodist called Krispaff.Robertson.com ever comes along, I'm hanging up my keyboard
Claude Prez - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Stu mentioned my favorite lines but there are plenty others. Wow.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
again... DKTOS, but a solid read
2nz - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
This will kinda suck as a follow-up comment. Here's the thing, I'm sure if I was familiar with the subject matter (Not the song, mind you. Still excellent from a technical standpoint) I'd be putting in a vote for this parody. But I am sadly a bum who knows almost nothing about England outside of the stuff in Guy Ritchie movies. So excellent job, Kristof. I wish this competition wasn't so close, so I could reserve a spot on me list for technical merit. When I finally sit down and 'get educated' about the world, I'm sure I'll appreciate this on a whole other level.

...see, it kinda sucks.
Tim Mayfield - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wrecklessly funny.
Sweet Indigo - April 07, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS (no, really), but am so glad I checked this anyway. Truly a masterpiece!
FEBRUARY 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH SILVER MEDAL - April 08, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=4870;image
Agrimorfee - March 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 05) Well written. I dont' understand the Rizzo/Kinecki line
Red Ant - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(2005 SOTY) The name references are mostly lost on me as well. Beautifully paced and rhymed; perhaps the best of tWotEF I've read as far as that goes. "And why Cam purchased her dress on Ebay", "Has been fondling Charlie’s Royal Truncheon" and "From too much tequil-anaesthetic" were my favorite lines.
Spaff.com - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Still fantastic. Let me add a couple more "Wow"s and a few more "Love it"s. I don't think I've heard of you before, Kristof, so allow me to welcome you to the site and encourage you to write a few more parodies. Eventually people will start to notice you.

P.S. Am I the only one who liked Stockard Channing more than Olivia Newton-John?
Josh - October 27, 2007 - Report this comment
haha i just got the original and then sang along with these lyrics, they're hilarious!

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