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Song Parodies -> "The Techs Of The AOL Helpdesk"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Techs Of The AOL Helpdesk"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Urb'n legends live on 'bout computers gone down,
And the users who call up all fumey.
A caller once said, my computer is dead,
Just before that began actin' screwy.

In the days of iron core, twenty-six thousand K more,
Cost an arm and a leg, was not thrifty.
The users were few, had them no helpdesk crew,
When the codes in computers went squirrelly.

When a hard disk got fried, there was no web worldwide,
Parts were sent in the mail from Wisconsin.
And if air freight you go, to get to either coast,
It came quickly except Christmas season.

So now we have worms and some firmware that's not firm,
And some websites located in Cleveland.
First came Trash 80 and then there came Wang,
And then Intel broke straight through the ceiling.

Connected with wires now they talk the world round,
The internet needed detailing.
And everyone knew that some internet crew,
Would just make these computers appealing.

Next came Bill Gates and the eighty-eighty-eight,
And his DOS on computers was smashing.
The fall of mainframes caused Big Blue much pain,
And the face of Bill Gates had a wide grin.

The internet came, the world went high tech,
Someone has to get out here and lead ya.
From air that was thin, AOL climbed right in,
This smart fella had a bone to throw ya.

Something inspired him, when his users can't log in,
Need a crew to help them out their messes.
This led to incite this new breed not contrite,
Came the techs of the AOL helpdesk.

They call in with woe, for most things they should know,
Some forget that they must turn on power.
Click on the OK, please, sir read your display,
Only one choice there's no need to ponder.

Their IQs way up to about their cap size,
Their stories make great cannon fodder.
Their passwords contain all of their children's first names,
They couldn't think of anything odder.

Errors occur, the telephone rings,
They fix 'em as fast as they trash 'em.
The customer screams in colorful themes,
His logic is really distortin'.

They call and they crow but little they know,
They haven't clue one how to mend her.
Computer's so slow that it hardly will go,
They forget what computers remember.

If it's nasty the call, you still hear them say,
Thanks for calling AOL central.
The user chimed, I called twenty-nine times,
Can I help you, this is Edwin McDonald.

Urb'n legends live on 'bout computers gone down,
And the users who call up all fumey.
Inferior they say, but no manual they've read,
When the codes in computers go squirrelly.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh and yes, I voted first here, 555 !
2nz - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Always bringin' the good to the table. Bud Lite celebrates you... Mr. Aol help tech.
Adagio - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Very good parody and congratulations on reaching #400!! 5's
Johnny D - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, that's right - kudos on reaching the big FOUR HUNDRED PARODIES, Mister Guy !
Diva - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
400......That's Excellent Work! Your quaility factor is phenominal! I just had to ring in and say congratulations.
Leah Lockhart - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
hee hee hee! This is perfect, I have AO-Hell as well. And I LOVE whenever anyone does this song!
Meriadoc - January 08, 2004 - Report this comment
This is much more listenable than the original. And I love words like 'fumey"! :-D
Guy - January 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks to all those who commented and voted.
Peregrin - January 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait for me Guy! I got here late! Great job!
Jack Wilson - January 13, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL, Great job, Guy!!!!
Paul Robinson - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC "T") Guy, very clever, very well done, very funny, very true...5's...
Phil Nelson - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Liked it. 5's
Agrimorfee - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good stuff MAynard
John Lomain - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) #400...excellent rhyming...what more can I say? (well, obviously a hell of a lot more, but this parody speaks for itself)
Arwen - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
ABCs...funny stuff, Guy! 5s...
Jared - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but with "Wreck" you really don't need to. All 5's for the sheer gemnius, and good luck in the competiton
Jeff Reuben - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Good stuff here!
Peregrin - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Refer previous comment. This I believe is my pick for SOTM!
Phil Alexander - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
I remember this coming out, and not knowing the original song at that point.. since then, I've done my own "wreck" parody, so I can appreciate it a lot more. But obviously, I like the subject matter :-)
Johnny D - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above ... this parody's still a classic and always will be a classic.
Meriadoc - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Restoring 5s for 'fumey'... :-)
2nz - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Bit rough around the edges, but some really good ties with the original. Bud Light celebrates you... Mr. Can't-Find-The-ANYKEY. Where would AOL's help desk be without you?

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